Thoughts on 4 + It's a GIRL!!!

 

(Ellie, Claire, & their friend, Sienna)

 

 I think first and foremost, the news that this baby is a little GIRL came with much relief! I love my Abram to pieces, but wow, he's been a little fireball. He gives me a run for my money every.single.day. A few months back I said a silent, small prayer to God on a particularly difficult day that I didn't know if I could take another boy- that I needed this baby to be a girl. Apparently He thought that's what we needed too!

 

I told Adam that I felt like I could breathe a little easier now. Writing this out I sound so dramatic about it, but it's the truth. Ask me in 12 years when I have 3 teenage girls how I feel- I'm sure I'll sing a different tune! Ellie and Claire are still so young and their drama meter can shoot through the roof at times :)

 

We are mulling over names, but overall just feeling overjoyed that we have a healthy, very active (per the ultrasound!) girl in there that is going to make our love multiply that much more. The ultrasound guy kept asking if we (mostly Adam) were disappointed it was girl- ha! Give it up dude, we're ecstatic and not lying about it...silly man!

 

My post was titled thoughts on four, so I'll fill you in on some of those too. Now that my belly has popped and I'm officially showing, I feel like more of a spectacle to watch when we're out and about. The cashier at Costco today was mentioning how many babies a previous customer had looking at my full cart of kids and bulging belly- that's the breakdown- people look at me now and think "whoa lady, that's a lot of kids!". They don't need to say it, I know it ;)

 

I don't get too many people asking me how I'm feeling- which I LOVE! It's a fine question, but ask any pregnant lady and you know it's over used. I think the look on my face tells people how I'm feeling. The lack of make-up, shush-ing my screaming one and a half year old, telling the kids for the billionth time that no, we're not buying that today- wherever we may be, and just the general chaos that shows when you are wrangling a small team of kids and getting winded bending over to grab a toy. Oh, it's fun stuff I tell ya!

 

But it is. It really is. The amount of pure exhaustion I feel at the end of the day is more that worth it. It's hard but it's GOOD. People keep saying that having 4 is EASIER than having 3 (say what?!?!) but I'm choosing to believe them and I'll hunt them down if they are pouring hopeful lies into me! Not really......but sort of :)

 

 



When Dance Parties Don't Work

There are some days that I feel my head might explode doing this whole mothering business. Today has been one of those days. These days are LONG. Usually the kids are whining (a lot!), the house is a disaster, there are no groceries for dinner (or lunch- shout out to Chick-fil-a), and even trying to brighten moods with a dance party just doesn't work! Believe me- I just tried it.

Then there's Claire. My little constant girl. She is sweet, kind, and always trying to figure out a way to make you happy. She is quiet and more independent than the other two. And she's just the darned cutest thing. She is my relief on some days- these days- that feel like they might get the best of me.

She was the only one who danced with me during my dance party. And she did it without a care in the world! She was free and just plain happy. If she could just capture some of that, bottle it up, and send it my way (and maybe your way!) the world would be a better place.

She is the beauty in my mundane today. And boy is she a beauty.

Now off to make some oatmeal and toast. Because that's what you do on these days, right?

Finding Beauty in the Mundane

Tap, tap, tap! Anybody out there?! Wow. It's been a long time since I dusted off this little ol' blog. Since the last time I wrote I had another baby (Abram 1.5 yrs old) and am almost halfway through my pregnancy with baby number 4. In pure laziness and not wanting to recap multiple years worth of events, I won't. I'm just going to pick right back up as if I never left. Using this blog has been one of my best ways to document the daily happenings of my life and help me to remember them all. So, I have huge hopes of staying strong and using this thing quite a bit.

This has been the hardest season of life yet. I never thought having 3 kids would be so hard! The sleeplessness, the busyness, and the mundane tasks day in and day out that leave you feeling like you are waking up in groundhog day EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I have resolved to making sure that I try to find the beauty in each day. Embracing the fact that every day may look painfully similar to the last, but there are these little treasures in each day that make it all worth it.

So, this my attempt to write down all those memories & treasures that fill my heart up. I'm sure the craziness of life will sneak it's way in as well too! If anyone is still out there, thanks for following!

Easter Celebrations :)

We had a great time celebrating Easter this year. This was the first year in a while that I wasn't too busy and actually got to focus on the true meaning of Easter Sunday- Christ's resurrection! I enjoyed reflecting on His sacrifice for us and was very humbled. I was especially grateful that He made a way for Ellie and Claire to have a relationship with Him and have eternal life- there are no words to describe my deep appreciation of that. Before giving Ellie her Easter basket, we read a book to her about Easter- she seemed to get most of it in her little three year old brain :) We told her why we were celebrating and gave her the basket filled with fun stuff. Then we made cinnamon rolls- she loves to give special treats we make to our resident grandma ( an older lady who lives down the way) and she went up to her door, gave her the cinnamon roll, and said "Happy Jesus!"- it was so sweet! I wanted to cry. I'm so glad that she understood it even to that degree. Here are some photos of our day- somehow I forgot to take pictures during our egg-dying time-oops!

 Ellie swinging at the park while everyone played kickball and baseball :)

 I think she's a just a little excited about her basket ;)

 Claire trying on a necklace..

 Both girls digging in!

 What an Easter celebration without trying the "pink stuff" as Ellie calls it?! :) 

 All of us before church- didn't mean to have the gutter in the picture, but at least we're all in it!

 I love Ellie and Adam in this one...

 Claire's face is killin' me here! Just wanna pinch those cheeks right off!!!

 Awkward faces, but just as adorable. 

 So sweet.Gotta love huge hairbows! They rock.

Team "White Shirt"! Adam and I in our comfy gear before we hit the field to play games :) 

Disneyland/Out of Debt Trip!

As of late January we have officially been DEBT FREE !!! It has been awesome. We decided to celebrate by taking a family trip to Disneyland :) Ellie is into anything and everything princess at the moment, so we knew that she'd LOVE it. We only went to Disneyland for 1day, then spent the rest of the time relaxing at a hotel that was right on the beach....tough life, huh?! ;) Anyways, here are a few pictures of our time. 

 In the Finding Nemo submarine- very cool.

 On the Ferry Boat by Tom Sawyer Island :)

 This picture was too cute/funny to not pass up! Claire spent the majority of the Ferry ride in this area crawling around & as happy as can be. 

 On the train ride around Disney

 Ellie and Cinderella- Cinderella touched Ellie's shoulder and it was seriously the highlight of her trip!

 Snow White telling her story to us during story time! She did such a great job.

 The girls totally intrigued by her story...

 When we came in, the first characters we saw were Bert & Mary Poppins- from Ellie's favorite movie! She was so excited!

 All of us about to enter Fantasyland :) 

Ellie and I in the teacups :) 

We had a great trip! Ellie talks about her trip to Disneyland almost every day, so we are taking her back for her 3rd birthday this year :) 

My Mission

This blog has been so incredibly neglected. I am okay with that though because my life has been consumed with what it should be filled with with- my family. I recently attended a Mom Heart conference that was honestly, life changing for me as a mom.

Before becoming a mom, I didn't have a grasp on what this mothering thing was all about. I had inklings here and there, but nothing I could stand on. I felt fearful and had a lot of anxiety. I asked myself so many questions- am I a good mom, do my children feel loved enough, do I spend enough time really engaged in my family and not missing moments, what more can I do, what if I mess them up? ...among many, many others. Needless to say, I needed some perspective. I needed to hear from "seasoned" mothers what this thing is all about, and how to approach motherhood with confidence instead of fear and doubt.

I wanted to share a bit of what I learned from the conference. If you haven't heard of her already, I would highly recommend ANY of Sally Clarkson's books. I just finished reading "Seasons of a Mother's Heart" and it too gave so much perspective and was a breath of fresh air.

Without further ado, here are some bullet points of things that really hit home for me (can any of you relate?).

• Throwing out the thinking that "Someone is watching me, I better handle my child's disobedience right or I'll be so embarrassed". Take it to the cross- deal with my child gently, christ-like, and without fear.
• Letting myself fail. Let my children fail. Let my husband fail. Do NOT build a world for my family where us (as sinners) have no grace in sin. The opposite of what Jesus came for!
• Until I accept God's grace in all of my limitations and short-comings as a mother, I can't be the mom I need to be. Do not be overcome by guilt!
• Apologizing to my children when I make mistakes makes the most impact.
• If I strive to help my child's heart be aligned with God I will be the recipient of His work- not my own. This is SO freeing!
• Always remember that there is a world out there clamoring after their innocent souls. I am the light of Jesus to them at their young age- BE THE LIGHT!
• Be intentional & sacrifice. DO NOT SETTLE. Mothering is a blessing and a calling- do not think of it as a task. Wake up everyday knowing my mission.
• Make sure that I am constantly focused on Jesus. I will reflect the sun (Son). Just like the moom does. I cannot shine unless I am facing the sun.
• Allow people to HELP ME. Swallow my pride.
• Remember that life is hard, but it's not my husbands fault! Do not cast my daily burden's on him and expect him to fix it all.
• Let go of thinking that that my kids will be a summation of all my mistakes. They are NOT me and God is so much bigger than that! He has a plan for their lives completely seperate from me.
• Be an advocate and encourager to my girls. When someone has an advocate they will not quickly fall. And remember, if you are not their advocate, then who will be??

Those are just a few things. I have so many other things that hit me, but that's good for today. Hopefully you feel encouraged! I know I do.

It's important to remember that motherhood is truly a mission. We need to love and take care of our children because GOD VALUES THEM. He entrusts them to us, and it is up to us and we are responsible for how well we took care of them. I know that I need to completely appreciate my child's unique gifts/personality that God gave them. I need to be sure to not work on changing them to be "acceptable" in someone else's sight, but to build them up and encourage them to DREAM big and be their biggest advocate!