Thursday, January 8, 2009

Tonight


I get to spend the night by myself tonight. Well, for the most part. Adam will be gone playing basketball with some guys from work. I used to be such an introvert, then somehow that changed. Actually, I take that back- I started out being an extravert not knowing or acknowledging that I really was an introvert because it wasn't "cool"- became a Christian- realized that I was indeed an introvert and loved to just sit around thinking and asking myself hard questions about life, sitting by myself & reading a book, going to the movies by myself, etc- and now, here I am living the life of an extrovert and missing my roots yet again. Wow, did you guys understand that?!?!

I really look forward to these little times I get. The funny part of pregnancy for me is that I haven't really thought much about the nursery decor, what it will be like when she gets here, or any of that stuff. I'm more concerned about the now. Like, being a wife. I know that once a baby comes, it makes it that much harder to focus on your husband. I don't even do a great job now. So, I have been focusing a lot on improving some of those things. Mommy stuff will come to me, and I will learn as I go. But right now, it's still about Adam and I. I'm not so naive to think that I can somehow master the art of being an awesome wife overnight, but I'm hoping to develop some good habits that will stay with me. I want our marriage to be a testimony and a pillar of strength to my little girl, and to Adam and I. It's so important. I will be thinking and making some goals tonight for sure.

The Lord is so good & so gentle. He had been gracefully nudging me lately that I need to spend some good time with Him. I just need to stop. Stop and think about where I am at with Him, with how I treat the people I love, and how to stay true to myself through all the pressures in this life- and the people in this life who try and change what I think about things, or make me question what I really know is good. God gives has given me confidence in myself that I have never known before. I actually really enjoy being me. What a great feeling. Yesterday was my 6 year anniversary celebrating my life with God. I have gone through some amazing times of satisfaction & peace, times of great sorrow not really living with Him or by His word, times of recovery & picking up the pieces, times of strength, and dry times of wonder & hopelessness. Through it all, He has been my rock. Always unchanging & always true to Himself. I may leave for a while and take my leave, but He stays there waiting. Wow. I am blessed. I love the song "Blessed be Your Name". It talks about how the Lord gives and takes away, and in this life we see it everyday. Not just with life, but with friendships, our marriages, our family, etc. But I am so thankful that He has it all under a calm-control. I am never desolate or alone.

Tonight will be a night of celebration, evaluation, and deep thought. I can't wait.

P.S. Finally Finally Finally! Ellie has FINALLY been moving around and I can feel it! Amazing. I feel like I have waited for an eternity :) I have also grown a TON! I will see about taking some pictures tonight as well.

Love, Krystle

4 comments:

Jessica and Deric MIller said...

Yeah for Ellie moving!!! I'm so glad you can feel her!! :)

Shannon said...

I love that picture! I am so excited about Ellie arriving, even if its a little ways away.
You should e-mail me some of those pictures you don't like from your wedding and I can spruce them up!

The Mathis Clan said...

Enjoy your quite time tonight. Isn't feeling the baby move the greatest thing ever! This is such an exciting time for you guys, yay! :)

thekirnancrib said...

yay for movement... it makes it so much more real! then when Adam feels her too it's even more amazing!!!