Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Trying to Stay Calm

It seems like life has been so busy for me these past few months. Between being pregnant, a mom, a wife, a full time-babysitter, maintaining a (semi) suitable home, and anything else that randomly comes my way- it has JUST.BEEN.BUSY.

Last night Adam and I were talking, which led into arguing, but we'll stick with the talking part for this post :) We talked about being a parent, and how crazy it was for us to think about having 2 kids. My question to him was," When will I have time to rest?". His response was "You won't." True, very true babe.

Which made me think, life doesn't really "slow down" does it? It seems to just get more chaotic. Lovely! But in all seriousness, that really challenged me. There are days when I feel like Adam can't come home fast enough, or I am so overwhelmed and totally feel like throwing in the towel. I think it's in those times, I need to remember the constant rollercoaster of life. It doesn't really stop, it just keeps going- winding around, turning upside down, and occasionally it goes on a straight path that's pretty low key- but not for long.

Keeping that in perspective, it has challenged me to ask myself- "How do I stay calm?". I don't want to be a person that flies off the handle, or cries too often, or gets overwhelmed by silly things. I heard something on a christian radio show that said:

Expectation- Reality= Disappointment

So along with "How do I stay calm?", another thing to ask, is "What is my reality?".

My reality is that I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a home-maker, I'm a worker, I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister...and the list goes on. THIS is my reality. When one thing ends another begins. When Ellie goes down to bed at night, my mothering stops (well, kind of) and I focus on being a wife and friend to Adam. When I close the door and the last kid I babysit is in their parent's arms, I focus on home-making and try to put dinner on the table.

So when do I rest? Now, hardly ever. The more I think about when I will have the chance to rest, the more anxious I become about resting. Does that make sense?

My resolve- Soaking in precious moments. Letting Ellie help me load the dishwasher even though it seems to take a million years. Cleaning in the moments when I know I can handle it and it won't stress me out. Smiling more. Laying on the floor playing more. Taking lots & lots of deep breaths. Sneaking in a 15 minute bath here and there. Reading a few pages of a book before falling asleep. Painting my toenails while the kids are playing contently. Waking up and reading a scripture to motivate me for the day. Throwing some bobbypins in my hair when it looks greasy instead of constantly being disappointed when I look in the mirror. Sneaking in a little nap when the kids are napping......these are the things that will keep me calm. THIS is my reality. It's not about figuring out a specific "time" in which I will rest- it's about finding times in the moments of chaos to breathe and pull yourself together.

To end, Adam came home last night and turned off my christmas music as I left the room. I came back in and asked why he had turned it off- I explained to him that it was helping me relax while I made dinner. He asked" That really relaxes you?", and I said yes. He was fine with that. But it made me think- it's really those small things that keep us going, keep us calm, keep us SANE.

What are your small things that keep you going?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Vaccine Awareness Week: Nov 1st-6th

I am in NO way judging other people who decide to vaccinate their children. I am simply going off of the research that I have found, and I have SO many friends of mine who do vaccinate and feel 100% peace about that decision. This is an extremely personal thing, and since this is my PERSONAL blog, and it's awareness week, I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. So please, no hateful comments. Know that this is where I stand, and I respect where YOU stand. Heck, if you decided to write a post on being PRO-vaccine, I would give you a high five! I like when people say what's on their mind.

The National Vaccine Information Center is dedicating the first week in November to Vaccine Awareness. This is something that is SO close to my heart. I have stayed up very LATE many many times, reading books, looking up articles, reading ingredient lists for vaccines & their effects, in order to figure what to do with this important decision.

My oh my is this a controversial thing! I'm a little nervous to even write it on my blog and make it a public thing, but the truth is, I really am passionate about it. You know how you just have to share a good thing when you know about it?- Kinda like sharing the Gospel to unbelievers?

Well, sadly I think that the effects that vaccines can cause to our children is an issue that gets swept under the rug, and that people think you are a TOTAL weirdo for not just doing it. For me though, I just haven't seen anything out there that has convinced me that I SHOULD vaccinate. As I read ingredients lists, and what each of those things can do to our children's bodies, and the MINIMAL, I mean MINIMAL research done to prove that these things are not harmful or cannot forever damage our children, it scares me to death. There is WAY more money going towards the promotion of vaccines, rather than the RESEARCH to make sure that they are safe. And in most cases, symptoms and side effects that children DO have from the vaccines, go unreported- doctors attribute these symptoms to other possible illnesses rather than a side effect. SCARY again. For now, we have decided to not vaccinate our kids. A few people have told me before, that chances are Ellie won't get anything anyways because she will just be "piggy-backing" off other kids who are vaccinated. Well, this isn't true either, because if you look at REAL medical reports, in some cases up to 75% of children WHO HAVE BEEN VACCINATED get the disease. So no, I don't think that I'm "protected by the herd" or "piggy-backing", I think I'm going off of my principles that I wouldn't let Ellie drink toxic chemicals right out of a cup, and likewise, I won't allow that to enter into her body in the form of a shot.

But don't take my word on all of this- I'm not a medical researcher, nor am I a doctor. But I have read lots of things from people who are, credible people, that have opened my mind up. If you want to know anymore about this, here are a few resources:

Go to Mercola.com- He is a naturopathic doctor that has an incredible website with SO many resources for finding out the real 411 on vaccines.

Also, "Shots in the Dark"- this is a documentary and you can find it on You Tube for FREE just by typing that into the title line. It's over an hour and FULL of information to help you see what is in the vaccines that is so harmful, and REAL life stories of people who have been harmed or had their lives taken by vaccines.

If you are reader, I would suggest, "Childhood Vaccinations" by Lauren Feder. A really good FACTUAL book including each and every vaccine, each ingredient in the vaccines, and the side effects of each. She is a nationally recognized physician who specializes in wholistic health.

One quote from her book that I will leave you with, that I think is so right on, is this:

" In light of the current vaccine controversy, the goal of this guide was to provide you with a well-rounded view on vaccinations. Because most of us were raised with the mainstream pro-vaccine point of view, I feel it is important to become knowledgable about both sides of the story."