Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year Everyone!!! 2008 here we come!
So, it has been a while since I have posted. Sorry about that. It's been crazy in the Porter home. We are all moved into our new place, school is finishing up, we've been trying to hang out with friends, family, AND each other as much as possible. Here are some of my thoughts on 2007:
*This has been a year of growth for me. Both spiritually, emotionally, physically (a few pounds heavier!) and mentally. I feel like I've grown into my own a bit. I have more of handle on what it means to be a wife, find more meaningful friendships, control my emotions and not be crazy, and just in general be a little bit more disciplined as a person.
* I have also surprised myself at how hard I have been working. This year I consistently worked 2 jobs and still maintained living in all the other areas of my life :)
*This year I have realized that life is hard. Adam and I were talking with some friends recently and I discovered with them that I do really enjoy the 'hard' life. I love to be conflicted, think deep, wrestle with things, and just create more meaning in my own life by learning from my life experiences so far. I was always afraid of having difficulty in my life, and this year has really challenged me to overcome that and love the battle.
* I have struggled this year with being more lazy then I would like to be, not prioritizing like I should, procrastinating, being less compassionate and more harsh, talking too much sometimes, and not saying what I really think needs to be said in certain situations in fear that my opinions may be rejected.
*This year I have purposely pursued God many many many times for forgiveness and mercy. Praised God for my trials and struggles, needed Him more that I ever have before, wanted to know His character more to have a deeper friendship with Him, and let Him refine me so that I am able to live with myself everyday. I have seen a glimpse of what it means to KNOW Jesus more and have a clearer vision of the cross.
I am so thankful for 2007. It has truly been a precious time of self-discovery and transition. And my husband has been my strength and my comfort in every situation needed. I see his struggle to love me as Christ loved the church, and I appreciate his effort so much. I am thankful for the times he fails and succeeds at that HUGE responsibility from God. Each step makes us closer.
My next blog will be about my New Year Resolutions. Ah!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Date Nights

Adam and I had such a great time together last night. I got home from work and went straight to bed to take a nap. I was so exhausted! That never happens. I slept for about an hour and 1/2, then I woke up to dinner already on the stove ready to be eaten! We ate, then watched the most amazing show ever....THE OFFICE! Too bad it was a re-run though. But it was really good still. And right after it was over we got our swimsuits on and went swimming and sat in the hot tub for a long while and talked. It was so relaxing. Then we came back home, I read around 100 pages in my book while Adam played videogames, and then we went to sleep. Last night was a MUCH needed night. I have been so drained lately that I just needed a little 'pick me up'. And plus, I got to spend a lot of time with a man that I am STILL SO IN LOVE with after almost 5 years of being together. I am so happy to know that I will keep on falling more and more in love with him as the years go by. Thank you Jesus for marriage.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

My Own Woman

Well, I commented yesterday on how I am going to spend some time to focus on me. And, I can't stop thinking about it. I have been intrigued by trying to find out who God made ME to be, and how I can implement THAT into everything that I do instead of the other way around. I think that a lot of it has to do with thinking itself. Thinking is actually a scary thing. It takes you so many places that you may not have wanted to go, and yet it brings so much peace when you actually take the time out to do it. It occurred to me that I rarely spend time alone. When I was younger I use to have to have some time to myself literally every night for AT LEAST an hour. That does not exist anymore. And I have a feeling that it needs to return. Maybe not an hour, but at least 30-45 min of time to just sit and be. Too bad I don't live out in the country somewhere so that I could go sit out on my patio, sip some tea,let my mind relax, and enjoy the breeze. Instead I am on the 3rd floor of an apartment building with a view of the road! Ugh.

All that to say, I feel the love of Jesus so close these days. He's reaching out his arms telling me to come and walk with him for a while. Just me. Just Jesus and I. I feel like I'm finally ready to just let Him take me on a long walk and learn some things about Him, and things about me as well....

Here's to becoming My Own Woman!

Monday, December 3, 2007

"These are a Few of my Favorite Things!"

Hello my friends. I was searching through blogs the other day and found this little tid-bit. I have been thinking a lot about being MY own woman lately. It's hard to remember who you are in the midst of being a working girl, focusing on getting debt-free, being a wife, finding a ministry to "fit" in, and many many more things. I thought that this little survey was just so neat and simple. It reminded me that I do in fact have my favorite things, and I tend to forget the things I like quite often. It's kinda fun to just focus on yourself for a change, and I think that I will embrace that while I have the opportunity. So, here goes. I am going to answer that little list of favorite things for all of you out there :) Enjoy!

Color: I like deep purples and any warm colors

Holiday: Definitely Christmas. I start listening to christmas music in like mid-November!

Beverage: Apricot Tea sweetened with Splenda. Mmm...I can taste it now!

Smell: I don't like coffee, but I love the smell of it in the container! I love lavender also.

Snack: A big bowl of fruit

Cartoon: Spongebob Squarepants

Restaurant: Depends. Either Wildflower Bread Co. or P.F Changs

Breakfast: Cereal Cereal and more Cereal! I could literally have it every meal... :)

Month of the Year: I have 2...September and December. Those are the months I'd like to have my babies!

Season: Winter

Article of Clothing: How about articles? My pajamas!

Movie: This is a hard one. I'd have to say When Harry met Sally. I watch it almost every week.

Sport: Volleyball

Comfort Food: Again, cereal.

Magazine: Taste of Home. It has the BEST recipes.

T.V. Show: None other than The Office!

Day of the Week: I enjoy Saturdays. It's the only true "Weekend".

Song: "Linger" by the Cranberries

Book: Hmm..I'm in the process of a few that may take 1st place, but as of right now it's Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller.

Animal: Dogs of course!

Well, there they are. I had fun!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Little Update

Well, it's been a while. I have definitely been slacking in my blogging duties. Sorry everyone.
Thanksgiving turned out to be pretty rough. Adam got food poisoning the night before Thanksgiving from Taco Bell! He was so sick that night and the whole Thanksgiving Day. Meanwhile, I unpacked my house by myself instead of enjoying family time and turkey, I cried. The funny thing, is that I posted a blog (my last one) about how we should be thankful on thanksgiving, and instead I just felt bad for myself and had a terribe day. Letting yourself down is No fun!

But on the bright side, our house is completely unpacked and everything is in place :) We are really proud of our room too. We were trying to make it an all-purpose room since we were moving in with people so that we could have our own thing going on. And it looks great! Yay for us! It's very cozy...

I feel like I have been posting blogs lately about nothing important or of quality. So, I'll give you an update on me. In the midst of all my business, I don't feel like I have had a lot of time for myself to just think and be silent. And I have found that in those times when I actually do get a few minutes, I am beating myself up with guilt about all the things that I haven't been doing. Adam and I had a long talk about it last night, and he reminded me that it's silly to feel guilty about it, because in reality, I truly DON'T have enough time for all the things I'd like to do. So, my goal is to find some time that I can spend with just God and I. I am really yearning for those times but I have just felt like my head is full of too much other junk that I can't focus. I need a little peace of mind!

That's all for now! I am planning on taking pictures of our little room tonight so that will be fun! And maybe..just maybe.. i'll post some :)

Until next time...Peace!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The Holidays

Well, thanksgiving is here! Well...almost. And I am sooo ready for it! I think that I need some down time in light of all that has been going on lately. I've been a little stressed these days. I'm ready to just eat, relax, play games, laugh, and just be DONE with everything that has been 'in progress' in my life. It seems like everything is moving by so quickly in life right now, and I just want it to stop so that I can actually rest and be able to adjust to some of the changes that are happening. Adam and I are in the process of moving, working more than full-time, in the midst of a family crisis, carving out some time together, trying to keep our house in some kind of living order,buying new furniture, giving away old furniture, trying to maintain at least a few friendships, and figuring out what ministry to be a part of.....WOW! That's a never really realize how much you do until you write it down!

But all that to say, I still feel like my life is going well. And it is interesting that it's in some of the busiest times in your life that you can recieve some GREAT encouragement from the Lord in the midst of your struggles, and feel so on "autopilot" (as Alexa calls it) about life. The Lord is good.

Also, for thanksgiving, Adam and I are going to make sure that our families do share some thanks. Sometimes I feel like we miss that whole aspect, and it's all about the food, when really it's about THANKSGIVING! So, be thankful! :)

I will post some pictures from thanksgiving with both families :) We will be stuffed on Thursday! We are going to my family's for lunch, and then Adam's for dinner. But it'll be some good eatin'! And we will be full stuffed of thanks as well :)

Have a Happy THANKSgiving!

P.S. I'm already excited about Christmas, hence the blog decor!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Life Updates

Sorry I haven't written lately. There hasn't been much to write about. We are hoping to move into our new place in 2 weeks. The apartment complex didn't do a proper clean AT ALL, and therefore we refuse to move in until it is completely finished. AND they take $30 off our rent for each day it isn't done and they are going on their 10th day! This makes Adam really happy, but I am frustrated because I have been the one talking to them, trying to make it all work, and the darn thing STILL isn't finished. Okay. I'm done ranting. But that's the update on that.

As soon as the apartment is all done I will post pictures :) We are hoping to decorate it really cute with our tight budget. So, we will see what we come up with. Also, Adam and I have to downgrade to a queen size bed when we are use to our king to conserve space! Ugh! But, it is just one of the sacrifices to becoming debt free I guess :)

So, that's all I have for today. Pretty boring. Better luck next time...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Making the Move

So. We're moving.

Yep, that's right, we're making the move. And we're not doing it alone. We are moving in with some friends...Ben and Alexa in particular...and we will be roommates. Here is how this came about:

Adam and I took a class by a guy named Dave Ramsey all about getting out of debt. So, now we are going crazy and trying to get rid of it! We sold our Ford Focus (the Debt Machine as Adam calls it), and we were trying to figure out what more we could do. Our friends were thinking of moving out of their place (they took the class with us) and so we decided to just take the move together and save a lot of money in the process! So, now each of us are only going to pay $400 in rent a month and decrease our monthly spending by a ton. It will be a BIG change for Adam and I, but we think that it will be very managable since we like them a lot :) And we are closer to family too by moving so that'll be nice.

Our goal is to get out of debt in less than a year. So, we'll see!

P.S. Today was Wordless Wednesday but I had too many words! So, maybe next week :)

Monday, October 29, 2007

Jesus & Inspiration

"It's because He gave it to me. My faith, my hope, my love - these are all copies."

I must have read that quote about 10 times. Here is some background. I read other people's blogs, and I came across this one. The lady had her second baby about 5 weeks ago, a little girl named Copeland, and she only lived 1 week after she was born. She had a chromosomal disease that caused her to die, and these are words from her mother who blogs about her feelings. It is powerful to say the least, and it changes the way I view my walk with Christ when I see this woman being so open and candid about her walk and how she doubts, but continually clings to the love of Christ. It makes my laziness towards reading my word, and soaking it in, and living it, seem ridiculous. This woman's blog has scripture weaving throughout it, and that is what keeps her going. Forgive me Lord for being so undisciplined!

Well anyways, that quote really hit me because it's so true. When we think about faith, hope, and love, it does not come from us it comes from the copy given to us by Christ. The other night I was sitting in my living room after talking to my mom, and I curled up into a ball and just sobbed. I was broken for my family. I was wondering why life had to be the way it was for them. Had God handed them a bad card in life? Why couldn't he just make it a little easier for them? When I read those words, I was reminded that God is where I am. He is also broken for them, and wants them to have peace and rest as well. My compassion, grief, anxiety, and brokenness comes from the love I have for them...which all comes from Him. I'm not experiencing something new, the hurt I feel is not unique. He feels it everyday when He sees his children hurting. We live in a sinful world, and there are glimpse's a rest and peace, but there is mostly brokenness and pain. But there is hope. A song to sing that never ends, and it's the hope of something eternal and better than this life. My pastor said on Sunday how we (as believers) are to be the healers. We are to do His work for Him while we are here. He gives us a copy of His great love that allows us to encourage, heal, and spread the hope that comes with knowing the God of the Universe. I am thankful for my copy. I am thankful that He feels the hurt and the struggle, and I'm thankful that He understands and cares. My little copy helps me to reach those around me. It encourages me and reminds me that if my love is so big, that I merely have a small copy of something that is much bigger and greater.

The link to her website will be posted under my "Special Friends". So check it out and be encouraged!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Gilmore Girls

When I was younger I use to watch the Gilmore Girls every Tuesday night and I loved it. And I was recently thinking about it and thought it would be SOOOO fun to rent all the DVD's and watch them. I could have a huge house-cleaning day, laundry day, cooking day, etc, all while watching the Gilmore Girls! It sounds fantastic to me! :)

The only problem with this, is that I have NO TIME! It seems literally impossible for me to have a whole day off. How depressing. So, I will keep you updated whether or not it happens.

On another note, I never made the covers for my living room pillows :( Here is why:
1) I didn't have the money to buy the fabric.
2) I don't really know how to sew very well.
3) There wasn't even enough time to do that.

So, there you have it. When I do actually do them, I will for sure post pictures because I will be very proud!

In spite of being so busy lately, friends have definetely pulled through for me. I have been able to just be myself and vent my frustrations, cry, laugh, and be encouraged. It has been a real blessing :) This is an update from my blog a posted a few weeks ago on friends. So, thank you God for encouraging me in that way.

I finish my Nurse's Assistant Program tomorrow! I'm so happy :) I have managed to keep a good attitude through it all though, and be awake when all I wanted to do was sleep! I can't wait to feel the freedom of knowing that I passed and did a good job. And have some time to spend putting my life back into some kind of routine. I was getting tired of the routine before, but now I am missing it. But that's life I guess... :)

One last thing, Adam works at Wells Fargo as many of you know, and there have been some kidnappings of employees there this past week( not at his branch though) in order to get money, and I am scared for my husband! Not that he is not manly and can't fend for himself, but it seems like these people know what they are doing. So, pray for protection and justice in this whole situation.

Thank you all for reading all of my randomness in this blog...

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Promised Pictures!

Here are some of the pictures from our trip. Enjoy!

And Relaxation Came...

Hello Friends!

Well, Relaxation truly did come on our 3-day adventure :) It was peaceful, mind-less, slow, and reviving! Pictures will come soon (probably later tonight), but I will describe our little adventure in the meantime.

We got a late start going up because we had to make sure that our new OLD debt-free car was going to make it up okay. By the way, we recently sold our Ford Focus for what we owed on it, and a sweet couple in our church practically gave us car to replace it. And now we are well on our way to becoming debt-free! Woohoo! ...then we were well on our way. We finally made it to our Bed & Breakfast in Williams, AZ and it wasn't quite as picture perfect as it seemed in the was a little disappointing, but I think it had personality :) Our room was a lovely mixture of floral and chinese decorations! So random. The walls and bed were 100% floral, and they had a few chinese paintings on the wall, and a couple vases that looked like genie bottles! We then talked about what our 3 wishes would be if a genie did in fact come out, and Adam said that my wishes weren't cool enough...( I think it's because I didn't choose to be any form of a superhero!). The next day, we went to a small lake and walked around the whole thing and talked about all sorts of stuff. And I got blisters on my feet! Ouch! That night we went to Flagstaff in search of some "good necked" shirts for Adam. We were very unsuccessful. Although I did find a super cute purse at the Goodwill there! On Sunday we took the Grand Canyon Railway up to the Grand Canyon. That was really fun :) They had neat country music and little skits all along the way. When we got to the Grand Canyon it was COLD!!! And I was too much of a wuss to hike...I didn't make it very far! Meanwhile there were people along the trail that were wearing flip flops and shorts! But they were guys so I don't think that counts...they were just trying to show how tough they were! That night we got to go see my sister NAU. We took her to get some "real" food at Oregano's and checked out her dorm room. I'm so proud of her :) She is doing so good and gets more and more mature every time I see her. I love you Ash! And that was the End. We made our way home and finally got back at about 11:30pm. The next day I had to wake up at 5am to go to clinicals for my CNA class and needless to say, I am TIRED! So, that was it. Not much to it, but it was great!

P.S. I also made up a word while on the trip...Relaxful!...Adam graciously reminded me that relaxful was not a word, being the scholar that he is, but we liked it! And we thought it was a great word to describe our time. I think it could be a word though....

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Oh Vacations :)

Well, Adam and I are off to the Grand Canyon this tomorrow for the weekend. So fun! We are overdue for a little mini vacation. So it will be really refreshing!

I do have a funny story about it though...So, Adam has it in his mind that I have never been to the Grand Canyon. I have been twice to be exact, but everytime we talk to people about it, he says that this is my first time going! It's the oddest thing! And each time I remind him that that is NOT the case, and he remembers and apologizes... So, now we have an inside joke that everytime we talk about the Grand Canyon, we act like I've never been! So funny!

We are staying at a little country Bed & Breakfast, which should be really cute. And then we are taking a train up to the Canyon. It's only a 2 1/2 hour ride, but neither of us have been on trains so it'll be an adventure!

AND on the way up, I am going to try and put some new fabric over my living room pillows because I have been wanting to just get new ones, but they are so expensive and I can never find a pattern that I really like. So, we'll see what happens. I will be posting a lot of pictures of the trip, and hopefully my pillows when we get back!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Monday, October 8, 2007


I have never realized until lately how much I need girl friends in my life. I want to be able to hang out and persued as a friend. I don't want to have to call all the time. And I feel like I always do. I have had this problem with girls ever since I became a christian. So, patience is a virtue that I need to cling to right now. Because this makes me really impatient...

On another note, I am so glad that my husband is my best friend. He is the Best! He can fill my girl needs sometimes...not that he is girly by any means! But we have so much fun together that it's easy to let him replace the need for women in my life. But lately I feel like God is telling me to invest in my friends. Or that they need to invest in me a little more. We'll see.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Well, this will be short seeing as how my blogs are usually SUPER long!

I just wanted to fill you in on a few things I've been thinking about and talking to God about...

I was driving to Mesa yesterday morning on my way to class, and I noticed how many cars were on the road. It was so intriguing to me that there are so many people in the world. And I know that I have so many issues just by myself, and I can't even IMAGINE all the struggles and hurts all the people in the world have. We were all driving, in a routine, to either work, school, dropping the kids off, or to do some other tasks the day always brings...all the while carrying around heavy burdens...and all of a sudden I heard God tell me to just pray. Pray for all these people in their routines, struggles, victories, trials, and hardships. Immediately after I felt so small. And I found myself thinking, "How is my little prayer going to help all these people?" But I all has to start somewhere. If one person doesn't do it, who is going to? It was very overwhelming for me to think of, but I was so amazed that Jesus carries all those things with Him eveyday. He knows exactly what we are all going through...its amazing.

One last thing. I was driving home ( things seem to occur to me while I'm driving lately), and I saw a sign that said " Minor crash remove from major lanes." And that hit me so hard. It sounds kinda silly, but I realized that that is exactly what we do with people relationally. We are all FULL of minor crashes just waiting to happen. And when it comes, there isn't any compassion or encouragement most of the time, people are pushing you out of the way instead to leave you stranded on the sidelines. Everyone is in such a rush to keep their life going that they bypass all the hurting people. The sign should say " If there is a minor crash, stop to see if everyone is okay because one day this crash could be a fatal one."

Friday, September 21, 2007

Life Update!

Well, lots has happened since I last wrote... the most recent news is that I am going to be a "real" auntie in about 30 minutes! So excited! Little Hana is going to enter the world and be another one of God's little miracles :) It's so amazing! I can't believe my brother will be a daddy before I'm a mommy! But life is full of surprises I guess...I will definitely post some pictures VERY soon...

I start my Nurse's Assistant program on Monday. I'll be there from 8 to 12:30, then I go to work until 7, then I go home and do homework! Ah! This only lasts for 5 weeks though, so I have decided that I am going to not think about how tired I am and keep thinking about how there will be an end to all the craziness soon! But I will miss my time with my husband the most...he is just the best EVER and the one that I ALWAYS miss being away from :(

HOWEVER, he just got a different promotion at the bank and that's super exciting! But that means training for 8 weeks, tests, and a few long days here and there. But it is going to be great for our little family :) I'm so proud of him!

In the midst of all this, I keep wondering about where the time for family and friends will be...there just isn't enough time in the day for all the things I need to do and WANT to right now I have a huge pile of laundry on the floor screaming my name, but I have to continue wearing the small amount of clean clothes that I have left until I can devote and ENTIRE day to it! Ah!

And I miss time...there needs to be just a few more hours in the day...

That's all for now...I will post more pictures soon...until then....

In Christ,

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Time to Come Home

Here are the lyrics to a song that has really been speaking to me lately. It's by a guy named Scott Phillips ( a small christian artist), and he is on myspace. You should check him out...this song continually reminds me that we aren't suppose to be on this earth and that we were meant to be somewhere else.


You are out of place
You weren’t meant for a world like this
This is not your home…not really
Suffering seems never ending

But soon enough…soon enough
When its time to come home
The lights will be on
You dreams come to life
And your nightmares are gone
When its time to come home
You’re more than just a guest
The doors have been unlocked
So come in and find your rest
I’ve prepared a place…for you
There will be a day when you can tell
The sheep from the wolves
When the shepherd of the flock

Who seeks and saved the lost comes to call
I’ve prepared a place, but the barricade of sin
Has thrown away the key
But my blood will get you in

Life goes on...

Hello Everyone who reads this!,

Nothing much has been going on lately. I have no profound thoughts to write about, no cool things that I've been doing, etc. Well, actually I was listening to "Ice, Ice Baby" just a few minutes ago and it made me happy :) I was dancing at my desk at work! Ha!

AND I watched a REALLY neat video on something called GodTube yesterday that was really impactful. I will put the link to it at the bottom of this page when I'm done. It was about how we as Christians always chase after so many things in life that eventually leave us empty, and God still waits for us to come back to Him and is fighting for us to come back. So, check it out!

I decided that I am going to take a CNA course (Certified Nurse's Assistant), so that I can introduce myself to the world of nursing. Deciding on a career is so hard. I have already changed my mind a few times in my college career, and then I just heard a statistic that something like 80% of people have jobs that had NOTHING to do with their majors! How depressing! I want to make sure that I am actually going to school for something that I'm passionate about. And I think I am, so hopefully I'm in the clear :)

Something else that I have been thinking about lately however, is how frustrating it is to have superficial relationships with friends. I have grown very weary of them, and I feel like I have actually been avoiding them.I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but it just is. I want to be involved in people's lives who actually want to know who I am, the good and the bad, and stick with me through it all. Because really, what is a friendship if there really isn't any depth? It's just an aquaintance (wow, i think i spelled that way wrong! i wrote it a few times!). So, the way I see it is that I have a choice: I either try to go deeper with those friends, and invest a lot of time, and hope to get it in return, OR I invest even DEEPER in the friends I already have. Hmmmm....

Well, that's all for today. Hope everyone is well, and I will write more soon :)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Little Abby

Here are some pictures of my new niece Abby! We are so excited that she's here! Isn't she soooo cute!!! In one picture Abby decided to flip me off!!! It was so funny :)

Friday, September 7, 2007

Abigail May Smith
Birthday: September 7, 2007
Weight: 7lbs 11.5 ounces
Height: 21 inches
Time: 5:23am

That is the info on my new neice :) I was in the hospital all night with my best friend Heather and it was so special. The whole time people were asking me how I felt about having a baby of my own one day (I think they were expecting me to be terrified because of the terrible labor she was going through) , but I was so moved by the whole experience. To have a baby is so womanly and honorable. Heather was in so much pain but I have never really seen her look so beautiful :) She was bringing a new life onto this earth! It's amazing.

I have almost been married for 2 years now, and it seems like people are asking more and more when we will have one. Everything that is happening certainly DOES give me "baby fever", but becoming a mother is a HUGE decision to make. But I am hoping that my time will come soon ! :) I know that being a mommy is one of my biggest dreams, and I have known ever since I was little that I want to have a child at a young age. Choices choices...

Until then however, I will be overly content with what God has provided me so far. I have a loving, caring, thoughtful husband, and a nice home. God is good.

I will be posting pictures of little Abby soon :) She is truly a miracle.

Until next time...<3

Wednesday, September 5, 2007


There is a song out there by Third Day called "The Thief". When I listen to it I ALWAYS choke up and get emotional. It reminds me of when Jesus saved me from my unsatisfying and sinful life, and brought me into a real relationship that is eternal and good. I am so thankful that my sins are not hanging over me, and he rescued me from all of my guilt and shame. The song reminds me of that because it is about the man on the cross next to Jesus, who believed in Him right before he died, and went to Paradise with Jesus. That is so amazing! He lived a life apart from God and rebelled against Him, and yet the last day of his life, he was able to be with Jesus in Heaven. Jesus is so good.

Sometimes in all the business of life, we get wrapped up in the small details that we forget what Jesus has done in our lives and the gratitude and praise He deserves each day. It's crazy how we can sometimes let that slip right out of our minds. He has saved our souls set us free, and yet we fail to acknowledge Him.

When we do this, we are settling for the happiness of temporary things instead of the joy and contentment that Jesus can bring to our lives. I find that when I am taking risks and actually LIVING my faith, is when Jesus really comes in and I feel ready to live a life worthy of my calling. The words in the bible are so powerful and they are alive. I want to live them.

The good thing is,...God waits patiently for us to remember that sometimes. And right now was one of those times for me.

I don't know if it's just me, but when I find that I haven't spent the time in the word and with God that I want to, I am so apprehensive to get back into it. It's like it's a challenge to even pick the bible back up and read it. Even though my heart is ripe and tender to learn and soak myself in it. I hate that!

I think that what's underneath it all is that I know my calling is a high one. God doesn't joke around when He asks us to do things for Him and for our own lives, He doesn't waste time. He always gets straight to the point. That's the scary part. He makes my insecurities, fears, flaws, and sins shine bright so that I am transparent enough to see where He needs to work. It's beautiful actually. But so intimidating! And so unusual to the world we live in. We live in a place that absolutely LOVES to hide all of that. But, Jesus calls us to be transparent, real, and vulnerable. That is how believers are different than the rest of the world. They seem weird just because they don't put masks on and act like everything is ok. I get so tired of that. Every person wants something that is raw. That is such a good word because it is so tender to feeling and emotion. The world is numb by suppressing their feelings and putting on a show. I don't want that. I want to hurt when others hurt, feel bad when I wrong people, cry because God is so good, give people supernatural mercy and grace that is not from this world, and be so weird and different because of how much I love others (because Christ has loved me) that it makes people uncomfortable but feel at home all at the same time. That is my high calling.

So, with all that being said, I want to follow Christ today so closely. I am not going to be afraid to go back to Him and apologize for how long it's been, but rather run to Him and embrace Him because it's been so long since I have been back home.

The End

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

A little extra time is all you need...

This blog is in honor of this weekend. It was great! Adam and I were able to see friends/family, relax, have some alone time, and enjoy being at home. We also bought a new laptop, which was exciting :) Heather still has not had little Abby yet...such a bummer. But she will FOR SURE be here on Thursday! Yay!

On another note, with all my free time the past couple days, I was able to get a lot done around the house and prepare for this week which NEVER happens! I scheduled out a whole meal plan, made breakfast burritos for breakfasts for the next few days, and deep cleaned my entire house! Including the refrigerator...awesome! I kept forgetting the fridge was clean and every time I opened it I was reminded... :)

On ANOTHER topic, I really miss my high school girls. I think about them a lot, and wish that I could still be a big part of their lives. Hopefully I will in at least a few of them. They are so awesome. My hope is that they will love God with all their hearts, and never settle for anything less. Christ brings TRUE satisfaction in all of our lives, and will ALWAYS transform us when we let Him. So, if you are a high school girl, and you are reading this, then remember that :)... And I love you!

Well, there will be more to come later...and more pictures!

P.S. I can't wait for Grey's Anatomy and The Office to come back on!!! My favorites!

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Well, Adam decided to not take the job. It wasn't the pay raise that we expected :( But I do think that it was for the best either way. My husband is so good and he just wanted to be able to spend more time with me and that would definitely limit us, which is never good. He is the best!

On another note, I have been sort of intrigued with life lately. It is so interesting. It's crazy how so many people live their own seperate lives, and it's hard to think that each of them actually have thoughts and they aren't just robots walking around. (That may sound weird, but it's something I think about at least once a week). I love to people watch. One can gather so much about someone when you observe them for a few minutes. I guess what sticks out to me most of the time is how uncomfortable and insecure people seem to be. Meanwhile, trying to cover it up with perfect hair and make-up or trying to put on a persona of what they think is "cool" or "acceptable". When Christ saved me, I too was insecure and uncomfortable underneath my make-up, hair, and cute clothes. And thankfully he brought me out of the shallowness of life (although it is still a struggle). But when I lay down at night and my husband tells me that I am beautiful without my make-up on, my hair out of place, and a huge t-shirt on, it is so reassuring. All that "stuff" doesn't matter. It's all about the beauty of our hearts.

I have a joke with my friend. It's the contentious wife radar. When I feel like I am being difficult to live with and my husband would rather be on a rooftop or in the wilderness rather than be with me in our home, I believe that's considered to be a "contentious wife". And that is actually exactly what the bible says. That is so's a a great description. My point in talking about this is that I could look beautiful, have my hair and make-up in place, have the house clean, and people could come over and I could look completely put together, but that is just an image. I believe that brokenness is the most beautiful thing. A story to go with that is this: Last night we had someone come over and our home was spotless, dinner was cooking, and the dogs were running around freshly groomed. This person came over and was telling us how nice our house was and how lucky we are. To most people that would be a compliment and would feel pretty good about themselves ( and most of the time we probably would think so) , but it left my husband and I both feeling weird. Adam looked at me and said," I wish that our house was dirtier". And we actually felt BAD that it was clean.

I don't want to be an image. I want to be REAL. I want to be a breath of fresh-air of brokenness. The truth is, right before that out house was a REAL mess. We had clothes everywhere, a ton of dishes, and stinky trash.

I think that this is how the christian faith looks sometimes. We are a broken mess but we clean up so we can look like we are "on top of things" and we have everything under control.

So, those were my thoughts of the day. To be a messy-broken-REAL person at all costs.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Well, this is my second blog of the day...Crazy!

I was just thinking about how hard it is at times to be an adult. Making decisions isn't something that I am very good at sometimes, and it's hard to not get REALLY emotional about tough situations and decisions in life. Being all-grown-up is so intimidating. It's weird that we are able to IN SOME WAYS control where our future is going to go. And then, when we really think about it, the decisions that we make on this earth are so small compared to the big picture.

I think about all the young people out there who are trying so hard to be so grown up. I just want to tell them to slow down and enjoy life where it is. I am actually jealous of their youth.

So, for today, I need to pray for sober-mindedness (is that a word?), and clarity.

Things to come...Maybe :)

Well, today is the official second day of my site, and I seemed to have forgotten a few VERY important people in my life...My best friend Heather and the baby in her tummy (Abby)! Abby was due yesterday but continues to be stubborn! I think that Heather has tried everything under the sun to get her out, but she has resisted and continues to do so! ...However, we can't wait for her to come! And we won't be one bit mad at her when she does FINALLY decide to come out because we will all be so overwhelmed with Joy!

On another note, we find out if Adam gets a promotion at the bank today...I'm so nervous! Be praying...but if it doesn't work out, it will be okay too. Because we are so content in our lives already and where we are going now is so good. So, no complaints either way :)

P.S. Today I was thinking about how special it will be to a mommy one day :) I just can't even imagine having a person grow inside of's the best gift EVER! God is so creative and things like this never cease to amaze me,...and usually make me cry! So, that's it for today. I'll update everyone on the job thing tomorrow... until then....peace out!

Monday, August 27, 2007

My first blog

Just to set the record straight, I tried doing a xanga blog, but I just wan't computer savvy enough to do it, and it ended up just not being very here I am on, which is soo much easier. I like it :)

I thought that creating some kind of blog would be a good thing for me; 1) because I do actually enjoy writing, and 2) because it's relieving to get all your thoughts out sometimes. And it's good to have a place to go and remember different times in your life, AND to kind of make a trace of where God has taken you throughout your life.

So, here is a little bit to get started...

I have lived in Phoenix, AZ for about 10 years now. I grew up with my aunt and uncle and they basically adopted me. I know them now as mom and dad, and it's hard to believe that wasn't actually born into that family. So, I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. My brother (Jay) is in the Border Patrol Academy and graduates October 4, 2007. His wife Amanda is pregnant with my very first niece; Hana Renee Bartine. We can't wait for her to come! My sister Ashlee just went to college last week :( It feels really weird to have her gone. And as an older sister it always makes you wonder if you did enough or said enough to her before she went out on her own. But, she is very capable and independent :) She is going to do so awesome! My little brother Alex is in junior high and is very into skateboarding...he also has the 4-day girlfriends that all of us had in junior high...i think it's so funny! I love him :) And lastly I have my littlest brother Austin who is only 5! He makes me so happy :) I love to have conversations with him and see how much he's grown up. He is still my little baby! So that's the fam.

I was married to the best man EVER (Adam Porter) on December 30, 2005. He makes me a BETTER person and has changed my life in so many ways. He has shown so much love, grace, and care throughout our marriage and God really knew what he was doing when he put is together. I am truly blessed to have him be my partner. He has shown me the love of Christ when I needed it the most. He is my hero.

Adam graduated from Southwestern Bible College this last May with a degree in Biblical Studies. He works at Wells Fargo and is hopefully about to get a promotion to be a service manager :) We are praying! And I work at an electrician company during the week taking service calls and I own a little housecleaning business with my friend Heather called Crystal Clean. Meanwhile, I go to school online and I am studying to become a nurse...if I can EVER get through Anatomy! Ah!

I am writing a novel here, but I think that I deserve a little grace with it being my first one. I am hoping that blogging really opens me up a little. I intend to post blogs about what I am learning through the word as well as just going through life and experiencing being an adult and just living life. I think that I am a truly artistic person at heart, and my husband always says that I have no hobbies...HOWEVER, I am hoping to prove him wrong! And I think that writing is my outlet....we will see!

Hopefully this blog will force me to write down some of my profound and unprofound thoughts, and keep my family and friends updated on my life :)

I love you all!

Stay tuned...

P.S. I just recieved an enlightening poem from Adam that I thought I'd share...
I love you
Go take a poo
The cow says moo
The early morning dew
A swig of mountain dew
A hearty cup of beef stew
You a sucka foo