Thursday, August 30, 2007


Well, Adam decided to not take the job. It wasn't the pay raise that we expected :( But I do think that it was for the best either way. My husband is so good and he just wanted to be able to spend more time with me and that would definitely limit us, which is never good. He is the best!

On another note, I have been sort of intrigued with life lately. It is so interesting. It's crazy how so many people live their own seperate lives, and it's hard to think that each of them actually have thoughts and they aren't just robots walking around. (That may sound weird, but it's something I think about at least once a week). I love to people watch. One can gather so much about someone when you observe them for a few minutes. I guess what sticks out to me most of the time is how uncomfortable and insecure people seem to be. Meanwhile, trying to cover it up with perfect hair and make-up or trying to put on a persona of what they think is "cool" or "acceptable". When Christ saved me, I too was insecure and uncomfortable underneath my make-up, hair, and cute clothes. And thankfully he brought me out of the shallowness of life (although it is still a struggle). But when I lay down at night and my husband tells me that I am beautiful without my make-up on, my hair out of place, and a huge t-shirt on, it is so reassuring. All that "stuff" doesn't matter. It's all about the beauty of our hearts.

I have a joke with my friend. It's the contentious wife radar. When I feel like I am being difficult to live with and my husband would rather be on a rooftop or in the wilderness rather than be with me in our home, I believe that's considered to be a "contentious wife". And that is actually exactly what the bible says. That is so's a a great description. My point in talking about this is that I could look beautiful, have my hair and make-up in place, have the house clean, and people could come over and I could look completely put together, but that is just an image. I believe that brokenness is the most beautiful thing. A story to go with that is this: Last night we had someone come over and our home was spotless, dinner was cooking, and the dogs were running around freshly groomed. This person came over and was telling us how nice our house was and how lucky we are. To most people that would be a compliment and would feel pretty good about themselves ( and most of the time we probably would think so) , but it left my husband and I both feeling weird. Adam looked at me and said," I wish that our house was dirtier". And we actually felt BAD that it was clean.

I don't want to be an image. I want to be REAL. I want to be a breath of fresh-air of brokenness. The truth is, right before that out house was a REAL mess. We had clothes everywhere, a ton of dishes, and stinky trash.

I think that this is how the christian faith looks sometimes. We are a broken mess but we clean up so we can look like we are "on top of things" and we have everything under control.

So, those were my thoughts of the day. To be a messy-broken-REAL person at all costs.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Well, this is my second blog of the day...Crazy!

I was just thinking about how hard it is at times to be an adult. Making decisions isn't something that I am very good at sometimes, and it's hard to not get REALLY emotional about tough situations and decisions in life. Being all-grown-up is so intimidating. It's weird that we are able to IN SOME WAYS control where our future is going to go. And then, when we really think about it, the decisions that we make on this earth are so small compared to the big picture.

I think about all the young people out there who are trying so hard to be so grown up. I just want to tell them to slow down and enjoy life where it is. I am actually jealous of their youth.

So, for today, I need to pray for sober-mindedness (is that a word?), and clarity.

Things to come...Maybe :)

Well, today is the official second day of my site, and I seemed to have forgotten a few VERY important people in my life...My best friend Heather and the baby in her tummy (Abby)! Abby was due yesterday but continues to be stubborn! I think that Heather has tried everything under the sun to get her out, but she has resisted and continues to do so! ...However, we can't wait for her to come! And we won't be one bit mad at her when she does FINALLY decide to come out because we will all be so overwhelmed with Joy!

On another note, we find out if Adam gets a promotion at the bank today...I'm so nervous! Be praying...but if it doesn't work out, it will be okay too. Because we are so content in our lives already and where we are going now is so good. So, no complaints either way :)

P.S. Today I was thinking about how special it will be to a mommy one day :) I just can't even imagine having a person grow inside of's the best gift EVER! God is so creative and things like this never cease to amaze me,...and usually make me cry! So, that's it for today. I'll update everyone on the job thing tomorrow... until then....peace out!

Monday, August 27, 2007

My first blog

Just to set the record straight, I tried doing a xanga blog, but I just wan't computer savvy enough to do it, and it ended up just not being very here I am on, which is soo much easier. I like it :)

I thought that creating some kind of blog would be a good thing for me; 1) because I do actually enjoy writing, and 2) because it's relieving to get all your thoughts out sometimes. And it's good to have a place to go and remember different times in your life, AND to kind of make a trace of where God has taken you throughout your life.

So, here is a little bit to get started...

I have lived in Phoenix, AZ for about 10 years now. I grew up with my aunt and uncle and they basically adopted me. I know them now as mom and dad, and it's hard to believe that wasn't actually born into that family. So, I have 3 brothers and 1 sister. My brother (Jay) is in the Border Patrol Academy and graduates October 4, 2007. His wife Amanda is pregnant with my very first niece; Hana Renee Bartine. We can't wait for her to come! My sister Ashlee just went to college last week :( It feels really weird to have her gone. And as an older sister it always makes you wonder if you did enough or said enough to her before she went out on her own. But, she is very capable and independent :) She is going to do so awesome! My little brother Alex is in junior high and is very into skateboarding...he also has the 4-day girlfriends that all of us had in junior high...i think it's so funny! I love him :) And lastly I have my littlest brother Austin who is only 5! He makes me so happy :) I love to have conversations with him and see how much he's grown up. He is still my little baby! So that's the fam.

I was married to the best man EVER (Adam Porter) on December 30, 2005. He makes me a BETTER person and has changed my life in so many ways. He has shown so much love, grace, and care throughout our marriage and God really knew what he was doing when he put is together. I am truly blessed to have him be my partner. He has shown me the love of Christ when I needed it the most. He is my hero.

Adam graduated from Southwestern Bible College this last May with a degree in Biblical Studies. He works at Wells Fargo and is hopefully about to get a promotion to be a service manager :) We are praying! And I work at an electrician company during the week taking service calls and I own a little housecleaning business with my friend Heather called Crystal Clean. Meanwhile, I go to school online and I am studying to become a nurse...if I can EVER get through Anatomy! Ah!

I am writing a novel here, but I think that I deserve a little grace with it being my first one. I am hoping that blogging really opens me up a little. I intend to post blogs about what I am learning through the word as well as just going through life and experiencing being an adult and just living life. I think that I am a truly artistic person at heart, and my husband always says that I have no hobbies...HOWEVER, I am hoping to prove him wrong! And I think that writing is my outlet....we will see!

Hopefully this blog will force me to write down some of my profound and unprofound thoughts, and keep my family and friends updated on my life :)

I love you all!

Stay tuned...

P.S. I just recieved an enlightening poem from Adam that I thought I'd share...
I love you
Go take a poo
The cow says moo
The early morning dew
A swig of mountain dew
A hearty cup of beef stew
You a sucka foo