Thursday, May 29, 2008

Sweet Home Alabama & Cold Sores

How's that for a title! Ha Ha!! Ok, so let me explain. A few days into my guitar lessons, Adam asked me which "popular" riff (spelling?) I would like to play. So, I chose "Sweet Home Alabama". It's coming along...learning guitar is so frustrating though because you can hear the song in your head, but your fingers won't play the song fast enough! AHHHH!

And now for the cold sore part. I woke up last night around 1:00am and had a tingling feeling on my lip...I know what that means....a MASSIVE cold sore is coming. And it did. So, my question to all of you is ... Do you know any really good cold sore remedies? I have seriously tried everything and NOTHING works....Or if it does work, it works only once, then the next time it seems to make it worse....please HELP! Everytime I have a cold sore, I feel like everyone is staring at it, and I want it to go away as fast as possible!!!

P.S. I know that this is a SUPER random post!

Thanks guys!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Guitar Lessons

My lovely husband is going to start giving me guitar lessons. I have always wanted to be able to play an instrument, and who better to teach me than my patient husband. Once I master guitar, I want to learn piano. I would love to be able to write some of my own songs some day, and I have written a couple in the past, but it's soooo hard to write a song without music. So, now I will make some music. Hooray for 20 minute sessions per night! So far, I have learned 2 cords: E and A. Here I come B,C, D, & G.....I think...

I'll let you know how I am improving :)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Alanis Morisette

So, I really enjoy Alanis Morisette's music. Her songs are so refreshing. I just love her lyrics because she tells it like it is. (This is the darker side of me...the one that likes it when movies don't end up happy at the reasoning for that, is because life doesn't always have happy endings...just thought I'd let you know). This song popped into my head today, and I really like it. So, I thought yet again, I'd share some music that was speaking to my heart :)

You Learn
I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn

I don't know exactly what she is saying about the pill thing, but everything else resonates pretty well with me. Does anyone else know what that means?

Here is the link if you wanna listen...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thanks for picking me Shannon : )

So, my friend Shannon tagged me to blog about what I have been learning lately. So, here goes.

1. Pain can be really healing sometimes. It takes you back to the reality of life.
2. Standing up for yourself is important, even if it means hurting someone else's feelings.
3. I am learning to be okay with improving myself and just focusing on ME.
4. Getting "stuff" done, whatever that may be, relieves the small stresses of the day.
5. Vanity isn't important.
6. Don't let hurt feelings dwell in your heart. Get them out, and again, even if that means hurting someone's feelings.
7. Having FUN with my husband is essential for our relationship to flourish. Just fanning the flame. Remembering how much we really LIKE each other.
8. Be okay with crying when you need to.
9. Remembering that Jesus takes me as I am. And He doesn't care where I've done or what I'm going to do.
10. Procrastination never pays off.

I'm sure I have been learning much much more, but it's just not comin' to me at the moment. Hope you all are having a good week!

I tag...Jessica Miller, and Karilee!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Carried to the Table

My heart is in it's rawest condition these past few weeks. I feel like all of my protective walls are up so that nothing else can wound it. And to be honest, that feels really good. Naturally, I am a very open, vulnerable, and emotional person. But I feel God prompting me that sometimes an open book isn't the way to be. And at times, that can actually be quite dangerous. I have never been one for "boundaries" either, but again, I am finding out how good they really are.

I feel the urge to just spill my heart right now, but I am going to refrain in light of what I just mentioned. I need to leave some things just for me. But I WILL leave you this song that won't leave me. It's lyrics are just perfect for my situation, and I thank God that music can reflect emotion so well... It's really healing.

"Carried to the Table"- Leeland

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Things that are makin' me SMILE!

Through all of the craziness , there have definitely been a few things that have been keeping me going lately, so I though I'd share some with you!

1. Opening my eyes in the morning and having my dogs be SO EXCITED at the small chance that I could be waking up : )

2. My long drive to work in the morning. I thought that I would hate it, but I actually REALLY enjoy it!

3. Getting a lot done while I'm at work...I LOVE productive days.

4. Cooking a GOOD meal for Adam and I. Lately, I haven't been able to cook much, but for Mother's Day I cooked chicken pot pie and lemon crumb muffins, all from scratch, and they we soooo good. That beats boring spaghetti!

5. Watching my t.v shows... American Idol, The Bachelor (I know.. I'm embarrassed to admit it), the Office ( I can't wait for the hour long episode tonight!!!), and Conan O'Brian at night.

6. When the night is all over, the dishes are done, the house is picked up, and Adam and I are finally able to just spend some uninterrupted time together.

7. Songs about life. The ones that you listen to over and over, and really make you think.

8. Being goofy. It can make any bad day good.

...that's about all that I can think of for now. And to all my fellow blogger friends, you should post some things that are makin' you smile! I'd love to know...

I tag...

Shannon & Ashley :)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Learning How to Deal

Lately I have been dealing with some hard things. About 2 weeks ago, a family member of mine tried to take her life. She didn't succeed, and praise God for that. God truly is GOOD. But it left me with some really raw & new feelings. I have tried so hard, for my whole life, to keep my feelings about this person so far away, so that I would never hurt over her. But when this happened, all of those feeling came in like a flood covering my body. I felt so suffocated and overwhelmed. God was and is teaching me so many things through this.

The biggest thing that He taught me in that moment, was to see this person through his gracious eyes. A lot of people may have looked at this act as purely selfish, and self-gratifying, but when I looked at her there on that hospital bed, I saw a little girl that was desperate for help & hope. She needed a way out of all of her pressures and fears. And this seemed to be the easiest way.

I have never cried the way I did that day and the days to follow. Jesus was teaching me to love someone so unselfishly. And to see her through a Father's eyes was so breathtaking. It was so pure that it hurt. I suppose that this is how Jesus wants us to see people all the time. He doesn't want us to measure our love for someone based on their successes or failures in life, but rather their heart & their story. He wants us to see the beauty of each person's brokenness.

I realized that night that I didn't even know this person's story. She could have died that night, and I would have never known who her best friend was, who influenced her life, what kept her going when the going got rough, who had hurt her, who had helped her,....NOTHING. All I knew was what other people had said about her, and what other people thought of the way she lived her life. I never pursued her. And that hurt.

If you know me, then you know that I like to live my life as a real person. I am the weird person that enjoys movies that don't have "happy" endings, I love interesting people that aren't like everyone else in the world, and I love getting to know who people REALLY are. I want to know what hurts them, what makes them happy, what their strengths & weaknesses are, and mostly I LOVE hearing their story. Whatever their story may be. Simple or complicated. So, with all that being said, this was devastating to me. I didn't know someone in my life that is suppose to be one of my closest family members the way that I knew people who weren't. And to be honest, I didn't even try because I was scared of the pain it might bring up in my own life.

What I have learned, is that pain is good. It is needed, it is helpful, it is healing, and it's what real life brings. And the reason that I can keep going and deal with this pain, is because I have the hope that Jesus gives. And hopefully I can pass on some of this glorious hope that my Savior gives freely to this special person in my life who is desperate for some.

That is what has been on my heart lately dying to get out. But, I hadn't had enough strength to just do it. I was skeptical about putting all that on here, but then I thought, this is my life, and this is a part of my story.

I will leave you all with a verse that has been in & out of my head since everything happened:

Matthew 11:28-29

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Friday, May 9, 2008

This is the Deal Breaker!

This picture shows how I will be spending my ENTIRE night tonight and ENTIRE morning doing... studying for my Anatomy & Physiology Final! AHHHHHHHH!!

Just a little background...this class hates me, and I hate this class. This is my 4th time taking it! Pathetic, I know. The main reason this is the 4th time I have taken it is because my HUGE problem with procrastination. And note, this class CANNOT be procrasitnated with.

I have figured it out, and I only have to make a 60% on the first 2 sections, and a 80% on the short answer. I know this seems easy, but it is NOT. This class is stinkin' hard!

So, here is my plan. Studying for an hour and then taking a 15 min break. And doing this for about 8 hours tonight! I put on some Sarah McLachlan to get relaxed and in the mood, and I am going for it. Wish me luck fellow blogger friends!

And on a more serious note....PRAY!!!!....for reals.....

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Our Weekend #2

Well, it has been an eventful weekend! On Thursday night I got sick and stayed sick through Friday until about noon or so, and I was worried I wasn't going to be able to go to the Carrie Underwood concert, but I literally turned a corner and felt great, and I was able to go :) Shannon and I had a GREAT time, and talked the whole way there and back and the concert was really good :) She has an amazing voice...the people that were there weren't very lively, but that's about the only complaint I had about the whole thing. Before the concert, I chopped about 6 inches off my hair! Ah! I sort of like it, but I am definitely in that transition stage with it, and it actually makes me feel a little chubby :( But I will get use to it. Then on Saturday I worked all day from 7am-7pm, got off and tried to do my homework but the dumb online class wouldn't let me access my assignment..grr! THEN, Adam went to go see IronMan with his friends and I went to go see Made of Honor with my good friend Alexa. Then today we did the Sunday norm. Went to church, then to lunch, then to lifegroup, and we just got back....needless to say it was a crazy weekend, but VERY fun! Here are some pictures of the weekend....oh yeah, and as a disclaimer, I really don't wear this teal shirt all the time! Ha! It just so happened that I am posting pictures 2x in a row that show me wearing it :)
Hope all of your weekend's dreams came true! (P.S. That was what my husband wanted me to write)

Me & My Hair Cut

Shannon & I Before the Concert Started
Josh Turner opened up for Carrie Underwood which is fitting because both mine and Shannon's maiden name is Turner :)
The Countdown
This was the ONLY picture that actually turned out ok of her
Adam and I acting Buff at the movie theatre w/the Incredible Hulk