Keeping it Simple

I came to a realization the other day. I realized that I have changed in the last few months. I use to really like being busy- just going going goin- and I called it "being flexible". But come to find out, flexibility doesn't mean leading a life of craziness and chaos. It means being willing to adjust your schedule when need be- not every day for any reason. So, I have decided to tone things down a bit. Not drag my daughter out in the middle of what should be naptime to meet up with someone, to then make her miserable and overtired, and pay for it all when I come home. I have been trying this out lately, and wow does it make life SO much more simple. I have felt so calm.

On another related note, Adam and I have decided to do the same thing with our date nights- or outings depending on the night. Instead of choosing multiple things to do and trying to cram in so much "fun", I thought that we should pick just 1 thing we'd like to do for the night or evening, and let that be it. That way, we're not out and about going to the mall, then trying to decide if anything else sounds fun, and hey while were at it, lets go spend $30 on a dinner that I could've made at home for $6! For example, last night Adam wanted to spend his Sears gift card from Christmas, so that was the plan. Go to the mall, he shops for his stuff at his leisure (all alone! Hallelujah when you don't have your child speeding up the process), while Ellie and I hang out in the play area. We DID contemplate eating out after that, but decided to stick with the plan and just go home...and it was great!

I'm totally on the train of looking for any budget friendly cut-backs too. By avoiding eating out, we probably saved about $25 last night. Call me weird, but I was really excited about that! And now, we can go use that $25 a different time, when what we want to do is go out for a simple dinner together and have a nice time chatting it up since we won't have other plans to go along with it- ya know, keeping it simple!

Wow, I feel like I just rambled & rambled about something that none of you may find the least bit interesting! Hahaha! That's okay. But just to sum up in case you feel lost as to where I was going:

• Trying to make life simpler
• Not going out in the name of "flexibility" and making my day harder than it needs to be
• 1 track mind date nights & outings
• Saving money when I can to make it stretch longer

There you have it! We're having a nice relaxing weekend...hope you are too!

Love, K

Need to get out much?

Ya. I do. Definitely need some fresh air these days. I can't believe how overwhelmed I am. I'm actually pretty sad about it. Baby Blues you say? I don't think so. Just too many things on top of too many things in too short of a time period:

Laboring for hours & hours being 8 cm dilated
Pushing and giving birth to my baby
Hearing my midwife say I needed a lactation consultant right after she was born
Pains when I pee
Pains when I poop
Pains when I breastfeed
Pains when I pump
Feeling pain when I put diaper rash cream on my screaming baby & feeling like a bad mom for her having the rash in the first place
Lack of sleep
Lack of putting on make-up, doing my hair, and taking a shower
Lots & Lots of stretch marks
Family over, friends over, more family, more friends
Adam going back to work
Getting a breast infection
Worrying if my baby will get an infection too
Wishing I could just sit & stare at my baby instead of pumping
Having nightmares of huge waves that suck me in (I have had this dream the whole time I've been pregnant, but now I'm holding Ellie)
Watching my dogs, Adam, and Ellie sleeping soundly for a while now, while I sit & cry because I have to pump

Gosh. I sound so negative. Not trying to be. But I figure that I have this blog to be perfectly honest, and to be perfectly honest:

I Need to Get Out!

Mastitis...Are you kidding me?!

I wanted to update on how my first day "alone" went yesterday.................TERRIBLE! I was going strong up until about noon, when all of a sudden I got a massive headache, body pains, a high fever, and one of my "twins" was swollen and rock hard!

I immediately called my mom (because even though I'm a mom, I still need my momma!), and she told me she thought I had mastitis. Basically I have a clogged milk duct which leaves you in severe chest pain and flu-like symptoms. Adam had to come home from work (his FIRST day back) early to take me to the urgent care. Bleh!

So, these past couple days have been pretty rough. I was so mad that I got this...not only am I having a REALLY hard time breastfeeding, but to get an infection too?!?!?!

This too shall pass, this too shall pass...

Add this to the list of "things-people-don't-tell-you-when-you're-pregnant".

On a positive note, I'm feeling better today :) I have missed being able to be Ellie's mom yesterday & today as I have had to tend to my ailments. Thanks goodness for moms & husbands!

Adjusting

Boy how I'm learning what that means in these early weeks of being a new parent! Today is my first day of being home all by myself with Ellie. I have been so nervous for this day to come. I feel like I have been so spoiled having Adam home these past few weeks, and since we don't ever get tired of each other- seriously, we don't- it has been tough! I miss him like crazy. And I know he misses us too...

I think I had an image in my head of what it would be like to be a mom, and so far, it's not exactly what I thought. The toughest part so far has been the continual trouble with breastfeeding. I'm so determined and not giving up- at least for a while- and it starts to take a toll at times. I know that it's only for a short period of time in the grand scheme of things, so that gets me by most days. Also, no one really talks about all the pain AFTER giving birth! That was so rough!!! I wondered why people didn't say that you wouldn't even want to drink water in fear of having to get up to go to the bathroom later! Or how you would be absolutely TERRIFIED of going #2 in fear of something else falling out too! Or how you would rather chop off your boobs than TRY to attempt breastfeeding one more time... Sorry if that was too much information, but it needed to be said....Ha ha! Hopefully no men read my blog!

Another thing that I didn't expect were the fears that come with parenting! Before I had her, I thought that since I always wanted to be a mom, that I would just naturally do a good job and be really confident. Lately though, I find myself praying for EVERYTHING! I get serious too, laying hands on her and all! I am so terrified of something bad happening to her. When some people hold her, it totally freaks me out and I want to snatch her back. I get this feeling that if I knew that at the time I could have prevented something from happening and didn't, that I would never forgive myself. So, to all you parents out there, how do you balance that out? I don't want to be a crazy, over-protective momma, but it's so difficult since I am the one responsible for her. Whew! So much to think about!

Most of all, I know that fear is NOT something instilled in us from our amazing God. He is pretty clear in that we can NOT add a single day to our lives by worrying or being anxious. I think I need to cling to that truth more often. I'm pretty sure I will lose my sanity if not.

Even though this has been a total adjustment period, I wouldn't take it back for the world. Having a baby is one of the most miraculous things in the world. To know that you and the person that you love most in this world, created a life together, is nothing short of amazing. And then to see the one you love, love someone else just as much as you, just in a different way, is pretty amazing too. And when such a little person can make you sob just by thinking of how much you love them, when moments before you were crying because you felt like you were at your end and giving all you had to give, is rather remarkable.

Today

This little woman has been my life lately. Taking all of my energy, thoughts, prayers, & everything else that has to do with me! I can't even describe how having a baby can be one of the most amazing things, and one of the most difficult things all at the same time. Unfortunately, breastfeeding has not really improved much. I'm still really struggling & crying a lot! BUT, I'm not giving up. She's gonna get it eventually. But keep those prayers coming friends!! I know they help :)

Ellie has changed a lot already. Adam and I are SO in love with her. We are the typical "stare-at-your-baby's-every-move" parents. So proud. AND NOT TO MENTION- I have lost 20 lbs already!!! Yay!!!! :) Amidst the tough things, that is something that I am SO grateful for! I'll gladly accept that gift from above!

Today I was having the "woe-is-me's". Feeling so sorry for myself about having little SUCK-cess with breastfeeding. I felt like I was at my end. Then I read this blog, and it reminded me how truly blessed I am. Thank the Lord for transparent people who put life back into perspective. I'm not demeaning my hardships, but it's easier to see the BAD in your situation over the GOOD.

Til next time...

Praying?

This may be a weird post. I have it all laid out in my head perfectly, but what comes out may be jumbles of randomness. So, just try to follow along.

I have a prayer request. But as I was about to put in on my blog, I wondered why I was doing it. I'll start off by just saying what it is though:

Tomorrow I have an ultrasound that will tell me if my placenta has moved up or not. I'm a bit nervous about it because if it hasn't moved up, then that means that I may not be able to use my midwife and do a home-birth. Which would totally suck. And it means that I could have a more complicated pregnancy... So, there it is.

With that being said, how in the world does prayer work? (Bear in mind, I will be answering some of my questions as I go along.) I know that God calls us to pray to him and communicate with him without ceasing. However, it just seems really confusing. If I pray about it tonight, really hard, that my placenta will move up, will it? Or is it just going to be one way or the other regardless of my prayers? (I feel like a bad christian for saying all this, but come on, sometimes things just blow your mind, and this is one of those things for me.) How will I ever know if God really did "answer" my prayer, or if that was just something that was already gonna happen anyways? I guess that if my placenta does move up, I can always just look at it as an answered prayer, but what drives me crazy is that i'll never know! Here are some things that I know:

1) God is a miracle worker- He makes things happen that don't make any sense. That's amazing. Does that happen through prayer? Definitely.

2) God is completely good. He can't be anything else. His will is perfect for my life.

3) God is so incredibly cool, that He makes us think of things like this to blow our minds, and then turn to just trusting that when He tells us to pray, it really is worth our while.

4) When we don't pray about things, how can we see God moving in our lives? When he does "answer a prayer"- or so we think- It makes us love him more and trust Him more.

Unfortunately, I have no conclusions. I leave in the same state as I came...Confused. But, I will cling to the things that I know, and trust that God tells us to do things because they matter.

Anyways, will you guys pray for me??....and for my placenta? :) That would be great.

I will let you all know how it turns out very soon. My appointment is at 11:00am tomorrow. You guys rock!

Love, Krystle

It's been TOO LONG!

Wow. I think I set a record for myself on the "lack of blogging" meter. We have been so busy lately with all the new changes going on! We found out we were having a baby while we were packing up our apartment to move into a new place, we then moved into that new place, and are now trying to finish un-packing everything, all while trying to adjust to this new life we are entering into...talk about emotion overload! Hopefully soon it will start settling down a bit.

Unfortunately at this time, I don't feel like baby talk. I have a lot to say, but honestly, I'm tired of talking about it! Don't get me wrong, I love my little baby, but when you get pregnant it seems like that's the only thing that people want to talk to you about. So, I will leave that for a later post :)

Oh, and my camera broke, so new pictures of our place & things won't come for a while. Forgive me! We do really love our new place though. It's not the typical apartment layout which is nice. It feels like a little home :) Adam and I have been talking a lot about being parents. The responsibility of it all hits pretty fast. We feel really convicted about our own lives. We really want to teach our child by example...not the "do as I say, not as I do" stuff. It's hard! It's important for us to become more focused on integrity and discipline in order to accomplish any of this! Obviously I'm not naive to think that I will have it "all down" by the time the baby comes, ya right! But even to be a few steps in the right direction won't hurt by any means.

So, those are just a few minor updates. We still haven't hooked up the internet at our new place so I will post just as soon as I can!

Much Love to you ALL!
-Krystle

Simpler Lifer

Ten principles for
living a simpler life

1. Know your top three priorities. Whether that's family, faith, and work or fun, food and friends, you'll make better time decisions when your values are straight in your mind.

2. Make your priorities a priority. It's one thing to talk the talk. Walk the walk, too, and let your commitments reflect your values.

3. Always move forward. A balanced life isn't static; it's keeping a secure hold on your values, goals, and dreams while you grow, learn, change, and love.

4. Be honest with yourself. Your gut (not to mention your conscience!) knows what it's talking about; listen up when it's telling you something.

5. Know your limits. "No" is the right response when the request doesn't fit in with your life priorities--no guilt required.

6. Let go when you can't be in control. When you can't change something, don't waste time worrying: work around it or forget about it.

7. Face chores cheerfully. No matter how well you prioritize your time, mundane tasks go with the territory. Embrace the everyday, and time will fly.

8. Spend smartly. Everything you buy is a direct result of the time you spend working. Make sure your hours are purchasing something worthwhile.

9. Love your home. A space that provides sanctuary and gives you pleasure is essential for your well-being.

10. Take time for yourself. You'll never find time to simplify your life if you don't give it to yourself.

If found this site blog surfing...of course! It was very refreshing. Sometimes, we all need a little reality check, and this was mine. My GOAL is to live a simple life, but somehow life just gets too crazy! Can anyone relate?? But, I figure that if I keep these things on the forefront of my mind, things are bound to improve! The hardest on that list for me are #5 and #6... for sure.

Here is the website if you guys want to check it out :)

www.smartsimplewoman.com

Guitar Lessons

My lovely husband is going to start giving me guitar lessons. I have always wanted to be able to play an instrument, and who better to teach me than my patient husband. Once I master guitar, I want to learn piano. I would love to be able to write some of my own songs some day, and I have written a couple in the past, but it's soooo hard to write a song without music. So, now I will make some music. Hooray for 20 minute sessions per night! So far, I have learned 2 cords: E and A. Here I come B,C, D, & G.....I think...

I'll let you know how I am improving :)