Adjusting

Boy how I'm learning what that means in these early weeks of being a new parent! Today is my first day of being home all by myself with Ellie. I have been so nervous for this day to come. I feel like I have been so spoiled having Adam home these past few weeks, and since we don't ever get tired of each other- seriously, we don't- it has been tough! I miss him like crazy. And I know he misses us too...

I think I had an image in my head of what it would be like to be a mom, and so far, it's not exactly what I thought. The toughest part so far has been the continual trouble with breastfeeding. I'm so determined and not giving up- at least for a while- and it starts to take a toll at times. I know that it's only for a short period of time in the grand scheme of things, so that gets me by most days. Also, no one really talks about all the pain AFTER giving birth! That was so rough!!! I wondered why people didn't say that you wouldn't even want to drink water in fear of having to get up to go to the bathroom later! Or how you would be absolutely TERRIFIED of going #2 in fear of something else falling out too! Or how you would rather chop off your boobs than TRY to attempt breastfeeding one more time... Sorry if that was too much information, but it needed to be said....Ha ha! Hopefully no men read my blog!

Another thing that I didn't expect were the fears that come with parenting! Before I had her, I thought that since I always wanted to be a mom, that I would just naturally do a good job and be really confident. Lately though, I find myself praying for EVERYTHING! I get serious too, laying hands on her and all! I am so terrified of something bad happening to her. When some people hold her, it totally freaks me out and I want to snatch her back. I get this feeling that if I knew that at the time I could have prevented something from happening and didn't, that I would never forgive myself. So, to all you parents out there, how do you balance that out? I don't want to be a crazy, over-protective momma, but it's so difficult since I am the one responsible for her. Whew! So much to think about!

Most of all, I know that fear is NOT something instilled in us from our amazing God. He is pretty clear in that we can NOT add a single day to our lives by worrying or being anxious. I think I need to cling to that truth more often. I'm pretty sure I will lose my sanity if not.

Even though this has been a total adjustment period, I wouldn't take it back for the world. Having a baby is one of the most miraculous things in the world. To know that you and the person that you love most in this world, created a life together, is nothing short of amazing. And then to see the one you love, love someone else just as much as you, just in a different way, is pretty amazing too. And when such a little person can make you sob just by thinking of how much you love them, when moments before you were crying because you felt like you were at your end and giving all you had to give, is rather remarkable.

Pregnancy Photos Round 2!

Last Saturday we went out with our family friend Jennifer and took our last set of pregnancy pictures. It was so much fun! There was a nice breeze and it was a beautiful day in the mid 80's. Perfect for the beginning of an Arizona summer :) I am SO PLEASED with the way these turned out...we even went when the sun was at the worst point for taking outdoor pictures...But Jennifer is so awesome and took some GREAT shots. Hope you enjoy! We did!!! And if you are interested in getting YOUR pictures done, you should TOTALLY use Jennifer. She is amazing, and so fun to work with...(P.S. She didn't ask me to advertise for her, but we just had such a great experience, that I feel like I CAN'T NOT to it!)

The "16" is Adam's Number. We HAD to take a picture by it!

We were walking by a little boutique, and saw this chair..it was amazing! We hurried and snuck a few shots in!...We're so bad!

Thanks Jennifer!

Anxious

It's happening. I'm getting anxious for my baby to come. I still feel pretty patient, but I'm just getting excited. The thought of seeing her & holding her in my arms is so overwhelming. I remember seeing my little brother right after he was born, and I was so in love with him. I was just sobbing. I remember thinking, "How is it possible to have so much love for someone so fast?" I can't even imagine how it's going to feel to hold my very own daughter in my arms for the first time. Sigh....

I have been reading lots of birthing stories lately. Mostly of women who have decided to give birth at home. It's truly amazing. I can't help but wonder what my birth story will be like. I don't even like to think of it as a birth story actually, but more of a journey. It isn't something that starts and then ends. It's just the first chapter of the rest of your new life. I think that it all starts when you are in labor, going through the process with your baby already. There can be a lot of love wrapped up in all of the emotions of childbirth; the pain, the moments of rest, the frustration, the anxiety, the hope, the anticipation...all of it. That's one of the things that I'm actually looking forward to most. Call me crazy, but to think that I get to experience all of that knowing that my precious girl will be out of me, and that is the outcome of my efforts through that day or so that I labored is so empowering. I haven't talked about it much here on my blog except for when I originally announced that I was doing a home-birth. But it is something that I have become very passionate about. The natural-beautiful process. And don't get me wrong, it can be a beautiful process no matter how it is done; hospital, home, birthing center....but for me, it feels most natural to do it this way. Uninterrupted, all by myself (with Adam's love & support of course), feeling everything & using many many comfort measures/tools to calm & relax me.

I honestly can't wait.

When I picture Ellie, I think that she will have dark curly hair, blue eyes, and look like her daddy. But we'll see....

Anxiously waiting,
Krystle

Early Christmas Present for YOU!

Well, the families have been informed, Adam and I have had time to let it sink in, and now it's time to let my blogging family know what I am having!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





We are having a little......


Adam and I are sooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the best christmas gift ever :) We are so thankful that she has 2 kidneys, 4 chambers of her heart, a bladder, lips, that my umbilical cord is indeed nourishing her, that she has 2 feet, 2 legs, 2 arms, and overall is just a HEALTHY LITTLE GIRL! It's funny how when you are in the room to get the ultrasound that the you are so focused on what it is that you forget about all the health stuff. Which is the most important part.

The only tiny red flag & prayer request is that my placenta and cervix are a little too close together. Well, a lot too close together (about 1 cm apart). If it doesn't move apart more it could possibly cause some complications. I have another follow up ultrasound in 3 weeks, so if you could all be praying that my body does what it needs to do, that would be much appreciated.

Love,

Adam, Krystle , and Ellie!

3 Years

We are going outta town people! And the forecast calls for snow :) I'm so way beyond excited about this. When we live in Arizona and the most we have to look forward to during Christmas time is a cloudy day, it gets really pathetic! So, here is to a real white christmas!!!

Adam and I are celebrating 3 years of marriage. It's crazy how the time flies by so fast. I never thought that I would be married for 3 years, and pregnant with our first child by age 23! Craziness. But it is so awesome, and such a blessing. I am married to my best friend, and honestly, there is nothing better than doing life with that person. We are planning on having an amazing time, and soaking up all the alone time we can get! I will be sure to post many many pictures upon our return :) And I know. No belly pics yet. I have taken some, but they are just not very good looking. It will be a happy day when it finally happens!!

On another note, did you notice my little meter off to the right?! By the time we get back, we will only have 6 days until we know what we are having! I can't wait!!! Those of you who haven't placed your bets go ahead, because it's getting to be crunch time people! Remember how I was saying that I didn't have any hunches? Well, I still don't...BUT...I can only see myself having a girl! I tried so hard the other night to imagine what it would be like to have a boy, but I couldn't! But who knows...it's all just one HUMUNGUS mystery....oh, and by the way, we aren't telling anyone what it is until Christmas! We are waiting until then to tell my parents & Adam's parents, so I would feel like they were a little cheated if I posted it on my blog :) So, consider it a present from our family to yours, and look for my on Christmas! ....that's not to say that I won't post before then too :)

Well, I'm off to get ready to go! Have an awesome weekend everyone.

Love, Krystle

A Tribute to the One I Love

Here he is. My husband. Adam. Lately I have been realizing my deep deep love for this man. So, this is a post in honor of this man I am priveledged to call my husband, best friend, life partner, father of my babies, companion, and the list goes on...

1) I love that he is a great man of God, and in this world, that is extremely hard to find. He challenges me.

2) I love that he is a good listener. He really wants to know and cares about what I have to say and what others have to say.

3) I love that he asks me, "What do you think about that?"- this was hard for me at first, not coming from a background where people actually wanted to know that- but now that it has been asked too many times to count, I absolutely LOVE it.

4) I love that he has convictions that he doesn't waver on-it really shows me his self-control & integrity.

5) I love that when I look in the mirror (especially lately) and just feel fat, he can reassure me like no other. I always feel beautiful to him.

6) I love that the whole time I have been pregnant so far, he has been making all the food- I mean ALL of it- washing the dishes, cleaning the house, and telling me that my only job is to take care of myself and relax...I am living in a dream world people!

7) I love it that when I think about him, I still get overwhelmed by how much I love him.

8) I love that when I watch girly movies, I am never jealous of the romances...mine totally ROCKS the socks off of all those :)

9) I love it that he gained 30 pounds after we got married! All that good eatin'!

10) I love it that he grows his beard out and loves it! He doesn't even have to participate in no-shave November this year, he has been rockin' his beard for about 6 months now!

....alright everyone, I will stop being so lovey dovey. But, sometimes you just can't help it. Especially when you are married to someone as awesome as my husband!

Until next time....

We are Blessed!

The pictures above are from a resort Adam and & I are going to this weekend called Westin La Paloma Resort in Tucson. This is where our church's marriage retreat will be held this year. We hadn't planned on going originally since it was quite the wad of cash, AND we are in our still in our "get-out-of-debt-in-a-year" plan , so we decided to decline. FORTUNATELY, some of the people at our church offered us a SWEET discount so that we would be able to go! We really felt like we would be missing out if we didn't go, and we were totally bummed about it, but NOW we get to! Yay!!!

This will be our 3rd time going ... wow, that's weird we have been married that long!... and each time we have gone it has been amazing. We have learned some life-changing and extremely practical ways to improve on our communication, among other things, and we are just so thankful that we get to go again. The two couples that are speaking throughout the weekend are such real & genuine people, which is great because it really opens all of us "attendees" up to be vulnerable & honest. It's all about Conflict-Resolution this year, so hopefully we will bring back some good helpful tips!

Happy retreating to US!!!!

Happy Engagement Day To Us!

Us Then
Us Now

Three years ago today, Adam proposed to me! It was the most wonderful & much anticipated day of my life. I thought I would recap that day for you all.

Adam and I had a hard time convincing my parents that we should get married. Well, get married sooner rather than later. They really wanted me to finish college before we got married (thankfully I didn't do that because we still would have been dating now! Years later... AH!!!!). But anyways, he told me that day that he was just waiting for the right time to go to them to get their blessing. I was SO nervous about it. I kept asking him when he was going to do it, and he said it probably wouldn't be for another few weeks or so.

Well, that day, he said that he wanted to go on a date with me. Of course I said yes, and we headed off to Mill Avenue in Tempe. He took me shopping, and we walked around all day talking about how we wanted to be married, and what it would be like, and I looked at Bride magazines at Borders. Then he asked me where I wanted to go for dinner. NOT thinking that it was going to be our engagement day's dinner, I chose UNO's Pizza! Had I known otherwise I probably would have chose something WAY better :) But we had a blast anyways. Looking back, I'm glad I made that decision actually, because we aren't too fancy, and that was totally somewhere that we would go in our everyday lives. After that, he took me down to Tempe Town Lake, and we rented one of those electric boats...not the paddle boats, but the real ones. It was dark outside, and the lights from the bridges were on, and it was just so romantic. Adam asked me all kinds of questions, like about what our first date was like, where we went, all of that,...and then he asked me what happened when we had our first kiss ( like he didn't remember! Ha!) ... so I told him about it, and I told him that I remembered him saying right before he kissed me- " I just can't take it anymore". We had been hanging out for a while by that time, and we both wanted to kiss eacho ther so bad! So, that night, right after I told him that story he said....

"Well, there is something else that I can't take anymore"...and he pulled out the ring, got on his knee, and asked me to marry him! ..... and then we made-out for a while!!! Ha ha!!!

Wow. It's so good to remember those times. We were so excited & I think relieved that the day had FINALLY come :)

So, there you have it. The story of us.....(ready for me to be cheesy?!).....

.....AND THE REST IS HISTORY!

Love, Krystle

Surprise!

This past weekend, Adam and I went on a HOT DATE!!! Well, actually....that's what I TOLD him we were doing. What we were really doing was going on a surprise trip to California! It was so awesome because he had absolutely NO idea, and thought that we were going to a Diamondbacks game :) And I'm usually not very good at keeping a surprise a surprise, but since I decided to go literally that day, it made it a lot easier to keep in. Adam and I have needed some good quality time together. Once we start to get easily annoyed with eachother is when I know that we need to focus on us a little bit. And that was exactly what we did. We had such a great time, and really enjoyed eachothers company. It reminded us that we are still so in love! Here are some pictures of our little get-away...

Me= Super Excited that I planned this!
Adam & I on our way to our "Hot Date"!
Reading on the Beach...well Adam is...Im just acting like I am :)
The View

Love,

Krystle

P.S. I Love You

I just watched this movie tonight. I was wondering if I should, since losing my husband is like my WORST fear! But it was really good. Definitely my kind of movie. It had just enough laughter and crying for a girl to get all her emotions out :) But it did make me think about losing Adam. The sad part is that it happens to a lot of people. And I can't be naive to think that we are invincible. It gives me so much respect for those who have lost someone. It takes GREAT strength & courage to keep going.

As I'm writing this tonight, Adam isn't at home. He is at a concert...Demon Hunter & Living Sacrifice...not my kind of gig. But I'm all paranoid and can't sleep until he's home;thanks be to the movie! :( Bummer.

Thanks for being a time-filler for me everyone!