Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Anxious

It's happening. I'm getting anxious for my baby to come. I still feel pretty patient, but I'm just getting excited. The thought of seeing her & holding her in my arms is so overwhelming. I remember seeing my little brother right after he was born, and I was so in love with him. I was just sobbing. I remember thinking, "How is it possible to have so much love for someone so fast?" I can't even imagine how it's going to feel to hold my very own daughter in my arms for the first time. Sigh....

I have been reading lots of birthing stories lately. Mostly of women who have decided to give birth at home. It's truly amazing. I can't help but wonder what my birth story will be like. I don't even like to think of it as a birth story actually, but more of a journey. It isn't something that starts and then ends. It's just the first chapter of the rest of your new life. I think that it all starts when you are in labor, going through the process with your baby already. There can be a lot of love wrapped up in all of the emotions of childbirth; the pain, the moments of rest, the frustration, the anxiety, the hope, the anticipation...all of it. That's one of the things that I'm actually looking forward to most. Call me crazy, but to think that I get to experience all of that knowing that my precious girl will be out of me, and that is the outcome of my efforts through that day or so that I labored is so empowering. I haven't talked about it much here on my blog except for when I originally announced that I was doing a home-birth. But it is something that I have become very passionate about. The natural-beautiful process. And don't get me wrong, it can be a beautiful process no matter how it is done; hospital, home, birthing center....but for me, it feels most natural to do it this way. Uninterrupted, all by myself (with Adam's love & support of course), feeling everything & using many many comfort measures/tools to calm & relax me.

I honestly can't wait.

When I picture Ellie, I think that she will have dark curly hair, blue eyes, and look like her daddy. But we'll see....

Anxiously waiting,
Krystle

5 comments:

fromhome2home said...

I bet you are totally right about the dark curly hair because babies usually get their hair from mamma! and that would be the cutest thing EVER!

thekirnancrib said...

ohhh girlie can I ever relate. your sweet Ellie is going to be such a wonderful little girl, and you and Adam will be wonderful parents. I will be praying for you, and am always here to talk, since we are definitely in the same boat! xoxoxo

Mere Mortal said...

You aren't crazy. You are wise. :)
I cannot wait to witness powerful birth and see little Ellie!
xoxo

S. said...

hey! I hope you are having a great day! go check out my blog...there is something special waiting for you over there! :)

R,K,L said...

It is the most amazing experience and it is so good that you are already so into it and know it is a process and journey. I am glad you are doing what is best for you!!! It will be awesome!!!