Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Trying to Stay Calm

It seems like life has been so busy for me these past few months. Between being pregnant, a mom, a wife, a full time-babysitter, maintaining a (semi) suitable home, and anything else that randomly comes my way- it has JUST.BEEN.BUSY.

Last night Adam and I were talking, which led into arguing, but we'll stick with the talking part for this post :) We talked about being a parent, and how crazy it was for us to think about having 2 kids. My question to him was," When will I have time to rest?". His response was "You won't." True, very true babe.

Which made me think, life doesn't really "slow down" does it? It seems to just get more chaotic. Lovely! But in all seriousness, that really challenged me. There are days when I feel like Adam can't come home fast enough, or I am so overwhelmed and totally feel like throwing in the towel. I think it's in those times, I need to remember the constant rollercoaster of life. It doesn't really stop, it just keeps going- winding around, turning upside down, and occasionally it goes on a straight path that's pretty low key- but not for long.

Keeping that in perspective, it has challenged me to ask myself- "How do I stay calm?". I don't want to be a person that flies off the handle, or cries too often, or gets overwhelmed by silly things. I heard something on a christian radio show that said:

Expectation- Reality= Disappointment

So along with "How do I stay calm?", another thing to ask, is "What is my reality?".

My reality is that I'm a mom, I'm a wife, I'm a home-maker, I'm a worker, I'm a friend, I'm a daughter, I'm a sister...and the list goes on. THIS is my reality. When one thing ends another begins. When Ellie goes down to bed at night, my mothering stops (well, kind of) and I focus on being a wife and friend to Adam. When I close the door and the last kid I babysit is in their parent's arms, I focus on home-making and try to put dinner on the table.

So when do I rest? Now, hardly ever. The more I think about when I will have the chance to rest, the more anxious I become about resting. Does that make sense?

My resolve- Soaking in precious moments. Letting Ellie help me load the dishwasher even though it seems to take a million years. Cleaning in the moments when I know I can handle it and it won't stress me out. Smiling more. Laying on the floor playing more. Taking lots & lots of deep breaths. Sneaking in a 15 minute bath here and there. Reading a few pages of a book before falling asleep. Painting my toenails while the kids are playing contently. Waking up and reading a scripture to motivate me for the day. Throwing some bobbypins in my hair when it looks greasy instead of constantly being disappointed when I look in the mirror. Sneaking in a little nap when the kids are napping......these are the things that will keep me calm. THIS is my reality. It's not about figuring out a specific "time" in which I will rest- it's about finding times in the moments of chaos to breathe and pull yourself together.

To end, Adam came home last night and turned off my christmas music as I left the room. I came back in and asked why he had turned it off- I explained to him that it was helping me relax while I made dinner. He asked" That really relaxes you?", and I said yes. He was fine with that. But it made me think- it's really those small things that keep us going, keep us calm, keep us SANE.

What are your small things that keep you going?


Leigh Steele said...

Mine is Christmas music too!!! :)
You are so wise, mama. Yes, it's a step at a time, a minute at a time, a breath at a time.
Thank you for this important reminder.
xoxo and loving your sweet family and growing baby!

Brittany and Eric said...

It's so refreshing to know your life isn't perfect either! We all have moments where life just seems to be running faster than we are. My past week was definitely like that. I hunger for some alone time to ground me. I crave it. I need it. Even if it's just grocery shopping with no Hallie, it's so nice to have peace and quiet. I have also had to discover that it's okay to say "No". I don't feel bad saying "No, I can't do that for you" anymore, or "No, I don't have any openings this week" when people try to schedule a hair appointment with me that I could work extra for, but just don't feel like it :) Sometimes we put way too much on our plate and just have to remember to prioritize and say "No."