I'm Baaaccckkkkk!

(Ellie being goofy with her sunglasses on our camping trip :)

Well, soul searching didn't quite go as planned. Turns out that the Lord wanted me to chill out for a bit because I was about to find out that I am pregnant again :) I'm probably only about 6-7 weeks right now.

I have been a crazy fanatic about taking care of myself. Every SINGLE day, mulitple times a day, I am fretting over having another miscarriage. Truth is, I'm terrified of it. It's something that I need to work through with the Lord. This past Sunday a pastor at our church did a sermon on worrying and man did I need that! I keep telling myself that I just need to trust God and roll with the punches. Life serves you lemons all the time.
I have been feeling incredibly sick though....which is a wonderful thing to me! I wasn't sick at all my last pregnancy and that really freaked me out- turns out my gut feeling was right about the pregnancy feeling really off. But this time, I feel the exact same as I did with Ellie, which makes me feel like this force is strong with this baby :)

I feel so blessed to be able to grow another baby. It's kind of intimidating thinking of having 2 kids. But SO exciting at the same time. There are days now that I struggle with wondering if I am a really good mom to Ellie....am I attentive enough, do I play with her enough, am I teaching her all that I should be, am I being a good example, etc? So many things to consider. So the thought of doubling that is pretty intense.

Right now, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this pregnancy. Trying to embrace it rather than be scared of it. I felt like I needed to blog again to just put my thoughts down on paper (or computer). If you guys could just pray for patience that would be awesome. I feel like I'm in a waiting game until my 12 weeks is up. Again, I just want to focus on enjoying it....not playing a game.

It's good to be back.