Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Toddler Tuesday: Whining

Whining, crying, screaming, & tantrums are what we have been dealing with lately. Call it what you want- terrible 2's? Sure. But man has it been tough!

I think that as a mom, the BIGGEST task is to not lose your patience. I wish I could say that I was better at this, but alas- I am not. I have really good days and really bad days- just like Ellie does. Adam and I read To Train Up a Child books, and have implemented a lot of it with Ellie. It all sounds so simple- pretty cut & dry when you read it- but when you're actually in the situation, it's way tougher. It helps a lot that Adam is naturally really patient and really never gets flustered about things- balances me out for sure!

In dealing with the whining, our #1 rule is to not reward it. We urge her to stop whining (or crying) and tell us what she wants and to say please following it. If she doesn't do that we just walk away and let her work it out- which usually turns into a little tantrum- but eventually she'll comply and calmly come tell us what she wants. Yesterday was SUPER tough. It seemed like she just whined ALL DAY. I tried to stay as consistent as possible, and while it seemed to have no effect yesterday, today was a little better :) That made it feel worth all the effort - baby steps people, baby steps.

I have a feeling though that as she continues being able to better communicate what she wants, we will butt-heads a lot. I try to remember that it's always tempting to just give in to her in that moment because it temporarily relieves the stress of the situation, but it's WAYYYY worse in the long run. Each moment I give in takes me one step further away from the goal of training her how to be respectful and how to obey us, which in turn makes her happier & us happier!

What are some things that you do to address whining in your house? I could use the help while I'm in the thick of it :)

Love, Krystle


Sarah said...

We are just barely starting to hit a stage of whining and expression where Logan is showing us how something makes him feel. You have way more experience than I do at this age but the thing I am starting to notice that works is if I ignore him. If he is clearly acting out because he wants to get into the dog dishes then I just let him work it out.

Ashley said...

Oh my, whining is definitely Brynlee's specialty lately. It drives me crazy! I've been asking her to talk nicely, tell me how she's feeling, and telling her I will listen to her when she can talk to me without whining... but I definitely could use some other pointers too!

Melissa Viljoen said...

I read an awesome book this past week called " Making children mind without losing yours" and it has helped tons! I LOVE IT! Its by Dr. Kevin Leman. I recommend it for ALL parents, there is also another called "Dont make me count to three" and Im getting that one, ive heard so many moms rave about it! They are all BIBLE based.