Doula

Sometimes it seems that all of my schooling towards my nursing degree was a waste. I'm not a nurse- so what does that tell me? Anatomy & Physiology kicked my butt each time I took it. I even shot my anatomy book one day when Adam and I went shooting! It felt good. This has been something that has been really discouraging to me. It's mixed around with a lot of feelings of failure & self-doubt. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that my efforts towards my degree were about to be prolonged even further! This was both good & bad. I was tired of the constant disappointment failing brought me & happy to get some relief for a while, but also sad that I had worked so hard for something that seemed like wasted time.

I think I may have found the solution though. A happy happy medium. Well, I say medium, but I have no idea really. Recently I have been thinking about becoming a Doula. Need a definition?

dou⋅la / [doo-luh]
–noun
a woman who assists women during labor and after childbirth

....that's a pretty simple definition, because I think they do much more. But that's the sweet & simple. Basically, they are a life-line in labor, delivery, and the transition time that follows. They give you support (emotional & physical), they can be an advocate for you and your partner in the delivery room, and be whatever you need them to be in that sensitive time of giving birth to your child.

Anyways! I went to a mini-doula training this past Saturday (thanks Leigh!), and it was so awesome. It just validated further that doing this career change is the right move for me. I am so passionate about the whole birthing process- the natural, simple process. I think it is so easily overlooked. I am planning on making the move to do this at some point in August after I have a few months of getting use to being a momma! I am going to attend a few births- then do a few of them for free for the brave people that trust me enough to hire me!- and then plan on doing it on my own soon after. I am so excited!

I have also thought about the possibility of becoming a home-birth midwife...but that is further in the future, so we will just have to sit on that for a while :)

Here is a picture of my last visit with my midwife Mary...she is awesome. Look at that massive belly!!
So, that's that, but I also wanted to give you all some pregnancy updates!

*As of right now, I am 36 weeks!!! She is safe to come anytime according to my midwife...Ah!
*I am feeling pretty large...ok VERY large. Sleep isn't the same. But I guess that's what you can expect when a large human is in your belly.
*I LOVE eating ice. Love it. Adam hates it. He thinks I am not a "polite-ice-chewer". Ha!
*I pee almost everytime I sneeze. Wanna hear something funny? I have an extra pair of underwear on my purse at all times "just-in-case". Gross.

Besides that, I am feeling WONDERFUL. Pregnancy has been a blast. A LONG adventure so far. But it's crazy that it's coming to an end soon. Am I ready? No. Somedays I think I am, but most days I feel like I am in un-charted territory (which I am), and it's pretty overwhelming. But hey, how many woman have done this and conquered? Too many to count. I think I'll be just fine...
I will leave you with a picture of me these days. If you see a hint of a double-chin...well, I'm just a little hungrier these days....

Alexa & I

Love, Krystle

Bloody Taxes!

Adam and I were expecting a large tax return this year- we don't know why, but we just were. We found out yesterday that we actually OWE thousands!!!! WHAT?!?!?! This was SUCH a disappointment. We had a long talk about the government after that... talking about everything that we are charged for here that is actually suppose to be a "service" to the people. ARGH! Anyways, I won't even go into that stuff, but we were bummed to say the least! Totally threw off our totally-rockin' savings budget we have had going preparing for Ellie to come. But I guess that's what happens when you turn into an adult... oh how I wish that I could be a kid again sometimes...wandering through life, oblivious to bills and commitments....

Anywho, I have been going through a rough patch the past few days. I think I'm having anxiety or something. I haven't been able to sleep, and my mind is just racing...it's not nesting...I'm not worried about getting things done or anything....although maybe I should! I have missed work and have just been in a weird funk. Not to mention I was getting a cold sore from the stress!...the last thing I wanted since my shower is coming up....and to be over 8 months pregnant, with a nasty cold sore makes me feel like nothing less than a mutant!!! Last night I was finally able to get some rest, and I'm hoping it will last! I've also decided to stop reading birthing books for a while...sometimes TOO much information is just TOO much. I figure my body will pretty much know how to take care of itself when those lovely contractions begin...and I wasn't nervous about it until I started reading 3 different books on it at a time! So, problem solved....hopefully ;)

I have Shower #2 coming up here on Monday! I'm so excited :) I can't wait to get all of my stuff together and start organizing and figuring out what we have left to get...Only 7 weeks to go! The countdown has begun.

So, that's just a little update. Hope all is well for all of you in the blogosphere (wow, that was so nerdy!)...but I'm not erasing it!!!

Love, Krystle

Shower Time!

Last Saturday I had my first baby shower thrown at my mom's house. It was so much fun and a BLAST to catch up with everyone! Like I said before, we received an overflow of gifts & were totally blown away by people's generosity. Here are some pictures of our day!

Alexa (aka: game planner & former roomie!)
This on explains itself :)

The LOOT!

Yep...pretty self explanatory..but what a GREAT picture!

Shannon- Proof that blog buddies are friends in REAL life too! ha!

The favors! How cute are they?! Made out of a cup, cotton bals, and tissue...amazing.

The Cupcake Cake

My Mom & I

My Sister & I

Alright...we played pictionary...guess what I'm drawing! Note: I told everyone sorry in advance because I knew the drawing would be VERY awkward & inappropriate!!! Ha ha! I was drawing "Labor"

Love, Krystle

Part-Time

It finally happened! I'm working part-time again!!! It is so nice. It was my first "official" day today. I got off at 1pm, went to the Library, looked for some books-had no success-but that's ok! Then, I came home, made lunch, and watched pretty woman. It doesn't get better than that! I'm so excited to just have some more time at home organizing, relaxing, and preparing for Ellie to come :) I haven't had the "nesting" feeling yet, but at least now I will have time to go crazy if that's the case.

I had my first baby shower this past Saturday. It was absolutely wonderful. I felt so overwhelmed with how generous people were, and just the love & support that was in the room for Adam and I. It was a true blessing! Stay tuned for pictures...my friend Jennifer at http://www.jenniferlaurenphotograpy.blogspot.com/ took the pictures for us, and I'm waiting to get hers back to post some :) I can't wait. She is so awesome. We were able to get all of our major stuff at that shower- stroller, car seat, pack-n-play, bath tub, tons of lotions, diaper cream, and body washes....and the list goes on! Wow. After that one I feel so greedy to have ANOTHER one that is coming up here really soon!

Adam and I are just so happy. Really. This time has been so much fun for us. We are so much closer as a couple right now, and it's so fun to always have something really COOL to talk about. I can't believe that there is only 8 weeks left til I get to see her! I can't wait to hold her & kiss her...and stare at her for hours! Ok, enough of that....

As a side note, I have been thinking about being a mom and what that means. Mostly, I don't want to lose my identity in it all. I have a friend who did SUCH a good job at keeping "mommy talk" to a minimum, and I hope to be that same way. I still want to be able to have all of the friends that I had before, and not overload them with mom stuff. I think it's SO important for people to know that you are STILL interested in THEM.....just something I've been thinkin about...

Alright, now I'm gonna leave you with some random pictures of our life lately.....

Adam and I in San Diego March 13th for my mom's Birthday :)
An AWESOME picture I took at Sea World!

Adam shooting while I was at my baby shower...that's our old vacuum! ha ha :)Adam putting our stroller together! yay :)

Finished Product!

Love, Krystle

More

As I sit here in bed watching my husband sleep, I have so many thoughts. I am so thankful to have Adam. He is a precious gift from God. My heart is so full with the love I have for him. I have my laptop on my stomach right now, and as I type, Ellie is kicking and moving it around. Amazing. Another precious gift from God. Life can be so sweet.

I am amazed at how God works. The title of my post is "More" because no matter what we have in our lives that bring us pleasure & happiness, there is absolutely nothing better than having more of Jesus in our lives. No matter how good life can be, it still leaves us with a deep longing for the purest love of all- the love of our Father.

I'm happy that nothing on this earth comes close to sweetness of knowing Jesus. No amount of love for a person-no matter how large-can fill the spot of our Savior who died to have communion and fellowship with us.

Tonight I missing Him. Since being pregnant, I have gone through some dry times with my faith. Not that it's bad because in order to know how good God is, we go through all kinds of seasons in life. But I think I'm ready. I'm ready to dive deep & emerge into the waters of walking closely with the Lord. Giving myself over. Overcoming insecurities & fears. I'm remembering the song by Leeland "Carried to the Table"- I recall a line in there that says "And I don't see my brokenness anymore...when I'm seated at the table of the Lord." And my friends, that is so true. When I am "seated" next to my God, everything is exposed. And it feels good. I don't have to hide behind anything. He made me. He loves me. He cares about me. He knows me. He knows my motivations & thoughts-good or bad. And through all of that, He still wants a close, tight, one of a kind relationship with me. That is amazing.

So, I want more. More of his love. More of his presence in my life. How sweet it is that He is there waiting for me. Tonight. Ready to take me in under His wings & welcome me back home. Thank you Jesus.

Nursery Update

I have a headache, so this post will be short...

Remember those wall stickers that I really liked? Well, it ended up that it was a little too much for the budget...bummer! But, I comprimised on some really cute barn yard stickers...on the box, they put them up over a white changing table...and guess what? I HAVE a white changing table! Yes!

So, I put them up above it, and I like how it turned out :) Her themeless room is coming along quite well...I still need a few more things. Something to put on the wall behind the rocker/glider chair that will go in the corner, a cute rug, and some drawers to put all of her stuff in. It so crazy that I only have 9 weeks left! It is approaching faster than I expected. I'm still anxious but I feel like I still have sooo much to do...which is nice. I will stay busy.

Oh yeah! And I don't have to work full time anymore as of this week.....ahhhh.....sigh of relief. My body is feeling the bigness now, and I think it was perfect timing.
Also, Adam and I watched a birthing video, and it showed a woman birthing the placenta too...nasty. Seriously. I am NOT looking forward to that. We were both a little queasy after that..haha! Oh to being new parents....what a weird journey. Lots of firsts.

Before
After: I am going to put her name in those cute letters with the ribbon above the little animal pictures :)

Her loot above: We have gotten ALL of this stuff for free...such a blesssing. I already have a billion cute outfits, socks, onesies, a crib, and changing table! Wow.

And I just HAD to torture Sophie! I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!! Ha ha! I am so mean...I know. But isn't it funny?!?!

She was not thrilled to say the least...she wouldn't even look at me! ha!!!

Love, Krystle

Anxious

It's happening. I'm getting anxious for my baby to come. I still feel pretty patient, but I'm just getting excited. The thought of seeing her & holding her in my arms is so overwhelming. I remember seeing my little brother right after he was born, and I was so in love with him. I was just sobbing. I remember thinking, "How is it possible to have so much love for someone so fast?" I can't even imagine how it's going to feel to hold my very own daughter in my arms for the first time. Sigh....

I have been reading lots of birthing stories lately. Mostly of women who have decided to give birth at home. It's truly amazing. I can't help but wonder what my birth story will be like. I don't even like to think of it as a birth story actually, but more of a journey. It isn't something that starts and then ends. It's just the first chapter of the rest of your new life. I think that it all starts when you are in labor, going through the process with your baby already. There can be a lot of love wrapped up in all of the emotions of childbirth; the pain, the moments of rest, the frustration, the anxiety, the hope, the anticipation...all of it. That's one of the things that I'm actually looking forward to most. Call me crazy, but to think that I get to experience all of that knowing that my precious girl will be out of me, and that is the outcome of my efforts through that day or so that I labored is so empowering. I haven't talked about it much here on my blog except for when I originally announced that I was doing a home-birth. But it is something that I have become very passionate about. The natural-beautiful process. And don't get me wrong, it can be a beautiful process no matter how it is done; hospital, home, birthing center....but for me, it feels most natural to do it this way. Uninterrupted, all by myself (with Adam's love & support of course), feeling everything & using many many comfort measures/tools to calm & relax me.

I honestly can't wait.

When I picture Ellie, I think that she will have dark curly hair, blue eyes, and look like her daddy. But we'll see....

Anxiously waiting,
Krystle